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85 Thoughts I Had While Binge-Watching "Bloodline"

Um, you most definitely are bad people.

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1. Ooh, very captivating theme song!

2. Wow, Kyle Chandler sounds so sexy narrating.

3. Oh my god, The Keys are beautiful.

4. Seriously, I need to take a vacation right now. It's so cold that my face hurts when I go outside.

5. Ooh, a sex scene thirty seconds in!

6. The Rayburns sound so cool already.

7. Wait...why do the siblings look nothing like each other?

8. Oh my god it's Lindsay Weir!

9. They should've gotten John Francis Daley to play one of the brothers.

10. Ok, but seriously. How come two of the siblings are wildly attractive and the other two are wildly not?

11. Sally looks so nice but Robert scares me.

12. Kevin's wife is way too hot for him.

13. Is it really that big of a deal if Danny's date sits with him at the family table?

14. Why is everyone mean to Danny?

15. I would be mean to Kevin. He sucks.

16. I wonder how many times Danny got on and off a bus in this first episode?

17. Jeez, these people curse a lot.

18. And drink a lot.

19. Okay, everyone on this show is an alcoholic.

20. Wait, we're switching gears here. Suddenly we went from a swanky party to a MURDER.

21. Whoa, John's partner is pretty hot too.

22. Oh look, a butt that unfortunately doesn't belong to John.

23. Oh no, Danny hurt Robert!

24. Wait, it was a stroke?

25. Weird…

26. No, Sally, of course Robert will not be well in time for the pier dedication, God you're so selfish!

27. I feel like Meg doing her father's will is a big conflict of interest since she's, you know, in it.

28. But then again, what do I know. I didn't go to law school.

29. Everyone on this show seriously has a major drinking problem.

30. Why is Meg so mean to Marco he is super adorable.

31. Just marry the guy already! It's been five years!

32. Ugh, John's kids are the worst.

33. Oh no, Belle and Kevin are splitting up?! Maybe it's because she finally realized that she is significantly hotter than her husband.

34. Jesus, just let Danny come home!

35. HOLY CRAP ROBERT JUST DROPPED DEAD.

36. I SERIOUSLY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

37. John's giving the eulogy? YESSSS speak Kyle, speak.

38. HOLD. THE. PHONE.

39. THERE WAS A FIFTH SIBLING?!

40. AND SHE'S DEAD?!

41. "Young man goessss out looking forrrr the diamond in the seaaaa."

42. That's really not fair for everyone to blame Danny. It was an accident!

43. I am officially Team Danny.

44. Why is Danny being so aggressive towards Meg? She didn't do anything.

45. I'm not Team Danny anymore.

46. Hmm, Kyle gained some weight since his "Friday Night Lights" days. That's ok, I still love you!

47. What is Kevin's job exactly?

48. Wait, everyone lied about how Danny got hurt? Ok, I'm Team Danny again.

49. Why is Danny trying to ruin everyone's lives? Get over it.

50. I'm not Team Danny anymore.

51. Holy crap, Danny had Eric beat up Kevin!

52. I am so not Team Danny anymore! (Even though I don't care about Kevin.)

53. Oh my, Danny is getting out of control.

54. This is not going to end well.

55. Well no duh, the first episode shows John getting rid of Danny's body so I guess I should've expected this.

56. Hey! Isn't that evil bald guy Landry's dad from "Friday Night Lights"?! Small world!

57. Ok, John's kids are seriously the worst. Just listen to your parents and stop hanging out with Danny!

58. The DEA are getting involved; brings back memories of my Breaking Bad binge days!

59. John and Marco are very slow at solving cases.

60. I still kind of feel bad for Danny.

61. WHOA WHOA WHOA Danny, kidnapping Janie is not cool!

62. I don't feel bad for Danny anymore.

63. Kevin seriously needs professional help for his anger and drinking.

64. OH MY GOD JOHN JUST KILLED DANNY.

65. What a beautiful shot though.

66. The cinematography on this show is really top notch.

67. FOCUS

68. Wait now John's having a heart attack or something?!

69. This is terrible timing.

70. Great, now we have a classic what-are-we-gonna-do-with-the-body situations.

71. Way to involve yourselves in a murder, Kevin and Meg! Great job as usual!

72. Oh, look. A different butt that still does not belong to Kyle Chandler.

73. I still like John, though.

74. Am I biased because I love Kyle Chandler?

75. Yes.

76. How can they lie like this to poor Mama Ray?!

77. John really is doing an excellent job covering his tracks.

78. I guess he is a detective after all.

79. HOLY CRAP! Him narrating this whole time was him talking to the people who want to make him sheriff?!

80. What a liar! I don't like John anymore!

81. (But I do).

82. DANNY HAS A LONG LOST SON?!

83. AND HE FOUND THE RAYBURNS?!

84. Has Netflix seriously not announced a season two release date yet?

85. Guess I have to watch season one again.

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