You all need to listen up because I'm about to drop some KNOWLEDGE. BOMBS. on you Siri-worshipping drones.
Apple is STRAIGHT UP ILLUMINATI:
Were you even watching the event??? YOU MISSED ALL THE SIGNS:
iWatch?? OF COURSE IT'S MADE BY THE ILLUMINATI:
THEY'RE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT:
WHO THE HELL IS SAM BEBBS???
YOUR SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES AREN'T FOOLING US:
CAN'T YOU SEE EVERY PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY IS ILLUMINATI:
Want bigger phones? WAKE UP:
WE'RE ALL ONTO YOU, COOK:
Apple is merely wolves in hipster sheep clothing.
Thought this was just a regular glass cube? LOOK AGAIN: