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Wow, So, Whaboom Guy From 'The Bachelorette' Is The Worst

This fuggin' guy.

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Last night, Rachel Lindsay's season of The Bachelorette debuted.

ABC / Via Twitter: @BacheloretteABC

Reminder: Rachel is a 32-year-old attorney from Dallas, TX. She is bright, charismatic as hell, and deserves a partner who is her equal.


He introduced himself from inside the limo, via megaphone.


"Good evening! Stepping out of the limo next, standing at 6 feet tall, weighing in at a whopping 195 pounds, pure lean muscle mass. He also has one testicle larger than the other testicle, which, of course, is completely normal...your future husband."

(That's...not a joke. That's what he actually said.)


Blake L. — the "aspiring drummer" (???) who Twitter immediately nicknamed "Penis" because he introduced himself to the world by talking about how big his dong is — didn't mince words, saying, "He's a fucking clown."


That is, of course, an insult to clowns. Whaboom is more like the guy who got kicked out of clown school because he got caught masturbating in the clown car one morning before class.


If Whaboom talked to you on the subway, you'd give him a tight-lipped smile, politely put your headphones back in, and then you would change cars at the next stop.


I watch The Bachelorette to forget about all of the ways white male mediocrity is rewarded, and now I'm going to have to deal with Whaboom reminding me of that fact for two hours every week for the foreseeable future?


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