Harry Potter Merchandise That Totally Missed The Point

I hate to break it to you, but you might have misunderstood….um…the entire story.

Death Eater T Shirt

So I'm guessing that you kind of don't understand good and evil struggles? That's ok. It's not like it discussed in every single book. Skulls eating snakes is usually a sign of the protagonist….oh wait.

Undesirable No. 1 T Shirt

This t shirt represents the first half of the Deathly Hallows book where Harry was vilified by the puppet ministry. Yeah….let's immortalize that in fabric and wear it. Totally legit.

Horcrux Collectors Club T Shirt

A Horcrux is created when an act of such great evil is committed that it literally tears the soul into pieces. Soooooooo yeah….

Dark Mark Tattoo

Once again, what book were you reading?!?!?!? The mark that signifies Voldemort's followers….the way in which the He Who Must Not Be Named is summoned???

Avada Kedavra tattoo

"Hey, I read a children's book and now I've found a new way to be an asshole"

Not cool, man, not cool.

Slytherin's Locket

I have an idea, let's wear around a representation of one of the Horcruxes, ya know, the one that was supposed to have a soul-sucking effect that created deep conflict, terror and anger? Yeah that one. Let's wear that. It was such a great part of the story.

WHAT?????

Death Eater Costume

What the hell makes it deluxe?

Dementor Costume

Go sit in the corner and think about what you did, Target.

Weasley Is Our King pin

The fact that this bears Slytherin colors means that it references the original Weasley is Our King song meant to taunt Ron and distract the Gryffindor team. Stupid Pansy Parkinson led the singing. Once again, your copy of The Order of the Phoenix may have been missing a few pages.

Weasley is Our King Snape is Our Prince

….and Draco Malfoy is your homeboy too, I suppose.

*DISCLAIMER* Referring to Snape as the Prince references his being the Half-Blood Prince, an identity that he willingly left behind to be Harry's silent, distant, secret, awesome protector at Hogwarts. So flashing back to his Death Eater/Awkward Teenage Years DOES NOT make you a Snape aficionado/loyalist. Just sayin'

Voldemort's Wand

WHAT? I mean WHAT?!? Complete with snake too? Does it come with childhood abandonment and sociopathy?????

Apologies for the major Harry Potter geek out. But someone had to say it.