1. A New York Times crossword puzzle book for hours upon hours of nerdy entertainment for them *and* you. It'll be heaven to watch them put on their adorable reading glasses and dive in.
2. A set of tortilla coasters so they can celebrate the best carb in all the world through their everyday decor.
3. A set of custom stickers of your face (or your pet's face!) so they can bring you along with them wherever they go. On their water bottle, their phone case, their shirt, their notebook — there your glorious visage shall be.
4. A Dundie award of their very own for being the best partner ever. Hopefully you will never end up throwing it at a $200 plasma screen TV...
5. A fill-in-the-blank journal so mushy and saccharine it would make anyone else want to hurl. But they'll love the sweet nothings you have to say and will cherish this always.
6. A Tony Soprano magnet that'll make them think twice before opening the fridge and drinking OJ straight out of the carton. He's got his eye on you...
7. An 18-pack of pretty fine-tip pens so they have the entire rainbow at their disposal when they journal, doodle, or write you little love notes.
8. A crocheted pair of smiley face mittens that are cute, cozy, and basically a portrait of the two of you.
9. A ramen puzzle so you two can gaze upon your mutual favorite meal for hours on end. "Making ramen" like this might be easier than actually cooking it, tbh.
11. A library card pillow that your book-loving sweetie is sure to appreciate. Hopefully it won't remind them of a stack of library books that have been sitting in the corner forever that they owe late fees on!
12. A shower wine and beer holder so they can kick back and relax with a drink in a bubble bath without fearing that it's gonna slip off the slanted side of the tub.
13. A waterproof notepad for jotting down all the Great Big Thoughts they have in the shower and normally just yell out to you over the roar of the water.
14. A Mister Rogers magnetic dress-up set that they'll have a calm, peaceful time organizing. Don't forget to change his shoes every time you get home like in the show!
15. A variety pack of Bazooka candies you'll have to cross your fingers they share with you. But hey, if they don't it means you 100% picked exactly the right gift!
16. A circular saw pizza cutter for adding a little more *zing* to Friday pizza night. They might not be a real DIY-er, but with this bb they can at least feel like it!
17. A Bob's Burgers coloring book that they can have fun playing around with while humming one of Linda Belcher's famous tunes.
18. A go-anywhere table tennis set so they can totally crush your cousins in a tournament at every family gathering. You've heard enough stories about playing table tennis at camp every year for 10 years to know they got this!
20. A kombucha brewing kit because your partner's kombucha bills are starting to add up! With all the money they'll save crafting their own, this gift is ~basically~ like giving them a check for a million dollars. It's also just really fun to make!
21. A record player so they can listen to their favorite tunes in a timeless medium in their very own home. Bonus: It creates cute date opportunities to go vinyl shopping!
22. A mushroom growing kit that puts the ~fun~ in fungus and will let them cultivate their very own pink oyster mushrooms! Perfect for hobbyists, scientists and chefs alike.
23. A Squatty Potty, because the ultimate sign of true love is knowing each others' poop schedules. And trust me, once they try a Squatty Potty, they'll never look back.
24. A Q&A a Day journal you can fill out ~together~ which asks questions like "Where would you like to travel with your partner?" or the delightfully sappy (or potentially offensive, if you have some OPINIONS) "What does your partner's laugh sound like?"
25. A Golden Girls jigsaw puzzle to pluck away at while they binge their fave vintage show — and at a whopping 1,000 pieces, they have a LOT of episodes to look forward to!
26. A set of glowing chopsticks for the person who hasn't been the same since first witnessing the original Star Wars trilogy in all its glory. Now they can act out the endless fight of good vs. evil over dinner as they watch The Mandalorian.
27. A mini version of the original PlayStation that comes with a whopping 20 preloaded games and will be the prized possession of your nostalgia-loving loved one.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.