How To Cure Yourself From Love

Have you fallen victim to the dreadful disease of being in love? Symptoms include excessive thoughts of your beloved, hollow and yellow eyes, heavy eyelids, erratic pulse, and constant melancholy. If you have any of these symptoms, read on to learn Bona Fortuna's very best counsel on how to rid yourself of this terrible affliction.

Try listening to some instrumental music.

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The dulcet tones of a cittern or harp might help take your mind off the fire burning in your heart and focus instead on more mundane affairs. Plus, listening to music is a great male bonding activity. Some quality bro time will help quell your excessive thoughts of feminine beauty and carnal bliss.

Try to think of the object of your affection as filthy and loathsome.

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Put simply: your lady has flaws. Try to inflate these flaws in your mind until all you see when you look at her is a grotesque monster. Depending on the strength of your imagination, this strategy could work either very well or not at all.

Think about the rejection and hate you will face from your friends if you do not fall out of love.

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If you think your friends haven't noticed your sorry state, you are mistaken. Right now, everyone is probably laughing behind your back about how deeply and pathetically you have fallen in love. Prove them wrong by getting out of love as quickly as you can. Then, publicly scorn the depravity of love so that everyone will know you are cured.

Consider moving far away from the object of your affection.

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If you can't seem to fall out of love with the object of your affection so near, consider a change of locale. It's best to forget about your love and everyone else in your life. A new home in a new land might finally grant you some peace of mind.

Get tangled up in a messy lawsuit or two.

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There's nothing like the excitement of a good lawsuit to take your mind off the perfect beauty of your beloved's face, especially if the verdict involves a beheading.

Concentrate on your daily business.

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Dedicate yourself to your work, whether you be a knight, monk, or merchant. If you set your nose to the grindstone, you might just forget about your all-consuming love for a second or two.

Have intercourse with other women.

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... many, many, many women of all different shapes and sizes. This is the best known cure for the terrible sickness of love. If experiencing la petit mort with a loose woman doesn't cure you, then you are probably doomed to mope around in love forever.