The Mental Carnage That Is Your Friends Getting Married

You're like, 23. You've just finished university. You're aimless, you have some vague ideas about going travelling and the only thing in your life you have together is your old Pokemon card collection. And then, out of nowhere, your friends start getting married. It's tough to sort out the three million thoughts going through your mind, so this should make it easier.

Total and utter confusion.

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You know what the word 'married' means, you've seen it used elsewhere, but it doesn't make sense when it comes out of your friend's mouth.

Panic over their age.

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People actually get married at 30, right? 35? Something like that? Look, all you know for a one hundred per cent fact is that they don't get married at your age. SURELY THEY'RE TOO YOUNG?!?!

Surprise at how hot their spouse is.

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Hey, it might be a wedding, but you have to respect the kind of game that led to them locking down someone that attractive.

Scepticism over their new-found maturity.

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You've grown up with your friends, and that gif is pretty much 90% of your side of the dialogue with them. Seriously, some of them drank beer out of a shoe. Where did this new maturity magically appear from?

Realisation that you're not their favourite any more.

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You two have been tight forever. You've had sober chats about nothing, you've had drunk chats about the deepest thoughts in the universe and you believed you were partners till the end. But now... now you have to realise that you've slipped down the rankings because their spouse comes first. And that can cause you to lash out childishly.

Weary expectation of wedding talk.

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Oh yeah. The next ten months are going to be an endless stream of both joy and stress from them. Wedding venues. Wedding dress codes. Weddings disagreements. Wedding cakes. Suits. Food. And who has to listen to all of it? You.

The spate of weddings that follow.

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Because of course, it's never just one wedding. That first one happens, and the next thing you know, 15 of your university friends are getting married in the next year.

Genuine happiness.

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Yeah they're getting married too early. Yes your own life is a shambles. But they're your friend and of course you're overjoyed for them.

Optimism for the wedding party.

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I mean, you know what they all say about hooking up at wedding parties, right?