1) Monograms are awesome. It identifies something as yours, without having to put a tacky nametag on it. How many times have your friends ever borrowed (and consequently never returned) something monogrammed? They wouldn’t! Those aren’t their initials; they can’t wear YOUR personalized pieces. Everyone would know those clothes are not theirs! (Gasp)
2) Monograms are classy. Jay Gatsby’s cufflinks were monogrammed; you can’t get classier than that! Also, how many times have you ever said, “Would you check out that girl in the monogrammed sweater? What a hoe!” I didn’t think so. Prude maybe, but this way you have a much easier covering up what a slut you really are.
3) Monograms build confidence. Knowing that people in a 3rd world country
somewhere took the time out of their day to custom make you a jacket, t-shirt, dress, etc., can be a great feeling. How many times have you seen a self-conscious girl plaster her initials across her chest? You must feel great about yourself –and your rack.
4) Monograms make you feel smart. The fact that you can match your thread color to your headband takes a lot of talent. Lauren Conrad, Sarah Jessica Parker, Blake Lively, and Taylor Swift all wear monograms and they’re rolling in the dough. How many times have you heard of someone questioning his or her intelligence? –Wait, forget I asked that.
5) Monograms show status. On countless occasions I have debated buying monogrammed items that I clearly don’t need. Take the monogrammed letter stamper for example: it’s an absolute necessity when I pay that 1 bill not online. Or the monogrammed nail decals: you and I both know those are chipping in less than a day and then you have to repaint. How many times have you actually used your monogrammed bathing suit cover? If you have the right to wear a monogram you should not need a bathing suit cover.
Basically to sum all of this up, if you have the ability to throw money down the toilet, you have every right to wear monograms.
Greetings. I’d tell you my name, but then I would have to kill you.
I’m a hypocrite, but at least I can admit it unlike the rest of the human race. How disgusting.