7 Ways To Fake Bravery During A Horror Film

Whether it be to earn your stripes during a first date or to put forward a sense of bravado amongst friends, society tells you that it is absolutely vital that you do not, under any circumstances, overreact whilst watching a horror movie. As I am aware that the way we react during a horror film could potentially be a social make or break, I have decided to share some knowledge that I have picked up throughout the years. Here are the ways to seem as though you’re composed, cool and absolutely nothing is happening in your pants.

#1 LEANING ON YOUR EAR

"Yeah, I'm fine. This film is awesome and not scary. I am just resting my head on my hand because I'm a casual guy like that".

This technique allows you to put your elbow on the arm of the cinema chair, then lead your head against your fist, thus blocking your ears from that dreaded music. This cuts out around 40% of the surround sound, which takes away some tension and lessens the inevitable fright.

#2 LOOKING AROUND THE PERIMETER OF THE SCREEN

Trick #2 is mostly effective if you're not too obvious. You can wimp out by keeping your head facing forward but moving your eyes around the edge of the screen and not directly into the action. This takes you away from the creepy sightings in the distance and the ghost that is about to jump through the window. You have to perform this with subtlety; do not find yourself just staring at the ceiling as people will notice.

#3 SARCASTICALLY PREDICTING THE FRIGHTS IN YOUR MIND

"Oh, here comes the small child, obviously it's going to jump out at the protagonist. Ready…..BANG!"

This seems to be a more effective thing to do if the movie is a typical, predictable horror film. You tell yourself (internally and definitely not out loud) what is going to happen within the narrative, second guessing the filmmakers. If you predict the jumpy moments when they happen, it reduces the shock.

#4 OVERCOMPENSATING WITH LAUGHTER TO HIDE YOUR FRIGHTENED STATE

If you laugh hysterically, you won't cry hysterically.

#5 PRETENDING YOU'RE COLD, USING A JACKET AS A SECURITY BLANKET

Turn to the person next to you and mouth "it's freezing!". This gives you an excuse to lift your jacket, put it around you and either hug it like a blanket or block your eyes if necessary. If you haven't been bringing a jacket to the cinema, well, you've got a long way to go, Grasshopper.

#6 INSIST THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH IS WAY MORE SCARED THAN YOU

Continuously tell them that they jumped, they can't handle it etc. Deflecting the wimpiness is one of my personal favourites.

#7 KEEP YOUR POST-MOVIE COOL

When the film has finished, try to avoid conversation about it. Talking about the film will only encourage the your friend/partner to try and freak you out, so change the subject if appropriate. It also helps to avoid any reflective surfaces that might remind you of any horror clichés!