I finally understand the uncanny valley.
I may look cute and fluffy, but I will BRING IT in the mosh pit.
I’ve never told my owner, but despite her efforts, I’m more into dudes than ladies.
At night, I do the Single Ladies dance in my room in front of my mirror.
I’m pretty sure my owner’s food is going to kill me.
Sometimes I pee a little in the bath.
I have discovered that exercise is totally overrated.
I can’t tell my cat-bros, but my girlfriend is a mouse.
Every time they take “the raspberry pic,” it brings up all my old size issues.
I can’t bring chicks home because I sleep walk like crazy.
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