Jurassic Park VS Jurassic World

Shh! Do you feel that? There's a rumbling in the ground. Something is coming. Run! ...to the theaters!

Universal Pictures

The Super Bowl dropped many bombs on us last Sunday. Nationwide likes to be a buzz kill. McDonald's is using love as a currency. AND another Jurassic World trailer was dropped on us!

Should we be excited? Each Jurassic Park sequel has forced us to lower expectations. Much like Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean, we loved the first...but why are you still going? Sometimes the little engine that could shouldn't. But in rare cases...it really really should.

Basic Stats

Universal Pictures

Jurassic Park

Release Date: June 11, 1993

Box Office Opening Weekend: $50,159,460 (USA)

Rotten Tomatoes: 93%

Awards: 3 Oscars including Best Sound and Best Visual Effects

Jurassic World

Release Date: June 12, 2015

Box Office: TBD

Rotten Tomatoes: TBD

Awards: Coolest movie trailer at Super Bowl while everyone got up to pee

What's it about?

Universal Pictures

Jurassic Park

Tagline: An adventure 65 million years in the making.

Premise (via IMDb): During a preview tour, a theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok.

Jurassic World

Tagline: The park is open.

Premise (via IMDb): Twenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park (1993), Isla Nublar now features a fully functioning dinosaur theme park, Jurassic World, as originally envisioned by John Hammond. After 10 years of operation and visitor rates declining, in order to fulfill a corporate mandate, a new attraction is created to re-spark visitor's interest, which backfires horribly.

Who's behind the Magic?

Jurassic Park

Director: Steven Spielberg

Music: John Williams

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, and the young mother f@$%ing Samuel L. Jackson

Jurassic World

Director: Colin Trevorrow

Music: Michael Giacchino

Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Judy Greer, and Irrfan Khan (Yes, he was stranded on a boat with a tiger and now he's living with cloned dinosaurs. I guess that's better than snakes on a plane...)

Who's the REAL star of the movie?

Universal Pictures

Jurassic Park

T-Rex

Jurassic World

New man-made hybrid dinosaur

(Unconfirmed reports of naming it "Prius-Rex")

Number of dino-action-packed fatalaties?

Universal Pictures

Jurassic Park

Human Deaths: 4. Dennis Nedry, Robert Muldoon, Donald Gennaro, and Ray Arnold.

...5 if you include the guy who was backwards birthed through Robert Muldoon's arms in the beginning of the movie.

Jurassic World

Human Deaths: TBD

But by just watching the Super Bowl Spot, there are at least 3 who have no hope. Several others who are about to have no hope. And many more who will undoubtedly suffer at the hands of theme park prices. $11 for a chili dino-dog? Really?

Best Quotes

Universal Pictures

Jurassic Park

John Hammond: Welcome... to Jurassic Park.

Ray Arnold: Hold onto your butts.

Ian Malcolm: Life will find a way.

John Hammond: We spared no expense!

Robert Muldoon: Clever girl.

Robert Muldoon: Shoot her! Shoot her!

Dennis Nedry: Uh uh uh! You didn't say the magic word! Uh uh uh! Uh uh uh!

Mr DNA: Bingo! Dino-DNA!

Jurassic World

Groot: I am Groot.

Winner?

Universal Pictures

It's unfortunately entirely too early to tell which movie will prevail. Honestly, it should be both of them. Both should win. But does that mean it will? Will Jurassic World thoroughly astound us and make us leave a sick Tri-tops size poo in our pants? Or will it fall flat and once and for all prove to be a sick Tri-tops size poo stain on Jurassic Park's cargo pants?