6 Myths About Anal Sex, Busted

August is National Anal Sex Month! If you plan on, um, celebrating, it’s important to have all the facts so your backyard party is safe and pleasurable.

A recent study says that nearly half the population in America tries anal sex at least once in their lifetime. So let’s bust some myths about butt stuff.

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Myth #1: Nobody REALLY likes anal sex.

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It’s tough for people who hate anal sex to believe anal sex lovers truly exist. But they do! The beautiful diversity of human sexuality means there’s something for everyone and everyone’s got their somethin’. The anus is right next door to our other sexy parts, and it contains many delicate nerve endings that are quite receptive to stimulation. Even if it’s not your thing, let’s not be yucking other people’s yums, k?

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Myth #2: Everybody likes anal sex if they “do it right.”

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Wrong again, for the same reason. People. Are. Different. Some, regardless of their knowledge of or experiences with anal sex, just don’t like it — and that’s perfectly normal, too.

Now, “doing it right” IS important (more about that later), and sometimes folks change their minds once they figure out how to make anal sex feel good — but this isn’t a reason to be pressured into it if you’re truly not down. Some people study up, learn all the right moves, give it a whirl, and still determine it’s not for them. Others are completely uninterested in the idea in the first place. Many only like it every once in a while. Some like giving but not receiving, and vice versa. All normal, all okay.

Myth # 3: Anal sex is exclusively a gay thing.

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Whether or not you enjoy anal – giving or receiving or both – says absolutely nothing about you or your sexual identity (unless you want it to). And it doesn’t always involve a penis, either. Plenty of people have discovered that strap-ons, anal toys, and fingers let anyone in on the fun. If you do go down that road, be wary of toys without a flared (wide) base because they can slip all the way in and get lost in your butt.

Myth # 4: Condoms aren’t necessary for anal sex because there’s no pregnancy risk.

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While pregnancy from anal sex is really, really unlikely, it’s not impossible. Anuses and vaginas are neighbors, and if semen slips out of the butt and migrates to the vaginal opening, pregnancy can happen. So don’t rely on anal sex for birth control.

But the MOST important reason to use condoms for anal sex is to prevent STDs. Butt sex is one of the riskiest sexual activities in terms of spreading HIV and other STDs, since anal tissue is delicate. Anal penetration can cause tears and irritation (which may be invisible), making it easier for STDs to enter your body. Now for the good news: using condoms makes anal sex way, way safer. And so does using extra lube, which brings me to…

Myth # 5: Lube is optional

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Having anal sex without any lubrication is usually pretty uncomfortable, and can even be dangerous — lubrication reduces friction, which helps prevent that delicate tissue from tearing. It also helps keep condoms from breaking. When it comes to anal sex, lube is a total must.

So remember: IF YOU’RE GOING UP THE BACK TUBE, DON’T FORGET TO ADD SOME LUBE.

Choosing the right lube is important, too. Avoid anything with oil (baby oil, Vaseline, lotion) because it breaks down the latex in most condoms. Water-based lubes are A-OK for anal (and vaginal) sex, and so are silicone lubes or anything that says “condom-safe” on the package. Wheeeee!

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Myth # 6: If anal sex hurts, use numbing creams to reduce the pain.

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Numbing products — creams, gels, and lubes that numb the anus and rectum, often called “Anal Ease” — are a really bad idea. When something hurts, your body is saying “YO CUT IT OUT THIS AIN’T CHILL.” Taking away your ability to feel pain makes it harder to know if you’re damaging delicate parts. And the anus is pretty delicate.

The bottom (heh heh) line is: anal sex is not something you should suffer through — like all things sexual, it’s supposed to feel good. Instead of numbing products, lube, relaxation, patience, and communication are what you should rely on to enjoy anal sex (more tips here).

Some people will try all this stuff and still feel pain or discomfort, which doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. Anal sex might not be their bag, and that’s perfectly fine.