My Real-Life Best Friend Commitment Ceremony

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when you have to call off a wedding but have paid for most of it, use what you've got and throw a kick-ass party.

"Dodged the Bullet Party"

In October of 2014, I called off my April 2015 wedding. It was a huge decision, and an incredibly painful breakup, but life goes on. Once I had finished moving and explaining what had happened to, you know, everyone, I realized I still had the hall, catering and invitations paid for (and not available for refund). So I turned the would-be wedding into a Best Friends Commitment Ceremony, complete with an Unbreakable Vow being performed by a Severus Snape impersonator, flower crowns, and a Tacky Bridesmaid Contest. My best friend and erstwhile Maid of Honor suggested I call the new event the "Dodged the Bullet Party", a name that took pretty quickly. My caterer was more than happy to adjust the menu I'd paid for to accommodate the new direction. Having already paid $3,000 of a would-be $9,000 catering bill, I was able to provide a full, open bar (with bartender) for 100 guests as well as a dessert buffet.

We have been best friends for over a decade.

My best friend (the short one) and I have been ~together~ since we were in 10th grade. Her family is my family and vice versa. Every partner I've ever had has been fully aware that we are a packaged deal, and our relationship takes precedence over any romantic entanglement.

I had already paid for the invitations, RSVP cards and save-the-dates. So I took the invitations and redacted them CIA style to fit the new theme of the evening. Going through every invitation and Sharpie-ing out my ex's name by hand was surprisingly cathartic, and people thought they were hilarious.

I also printed up this insert to go with the invitations. When they heard of my plans, friends of mine who are in a band, and another friend who's a DJ volunteered to play the party. The guests were asked to bring a dish, and we ended up with 5 buffet tables laden with food. For the Tacky Bridesmaids Contest, I went to thrift shops and got hideous, cheapo prom dresses for anyone who wanted to participate but didn't have the attire.

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The band, Platform One, played awesome music and then segued into a Soul Train which made unlikely dance partners of strangers.

Who wears white anymore?

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Rather than wear the wedding dress I bought (because I still love it and plan on wearing it at my real wedding some day) I opted to wear a vinyl bustier I already owned and the skirt my mom made me as part of a prom dress from high school. Not pictured: slippers. Because I wanted to be comfortable, and no one was going to stop me. The photographers, who happen to be close friend of mine as well as world-class photogs, took some traditional bride-y pics of me...

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and some less traditional shots.

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Instead of a guest book, I got a piece of stretch canvas from Michael's and made an "Express Yourself" board for people to sign.

The board now hangs in my home, and every now and then I find a message on it I hadn't noticed before.

The Tacky Bridesmaid Contest

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For the Tacky Bridesmaid Contest, my friends really stepped up their game. Entrants were judged on attire and a drunk walk, which had to be made across the dance floor.

Once again, my friends went above and beyond. I was in pain laughing so hard and got winded a couple times as they all clomped and spun across the dance floor. I spray painted a fake bouquet of flowers gold as a "trophy" to be presented to the winner.

The Winner!

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The winner of the Tacky Bridesmaid Contest was none other than my best friend's boyfriend, who gave a short but moving speech: "I don't usually speak publicly but when I do it's with fine whiskey at Avi's Not Wedding. When I got into a relationship with Niko, I didn't realize I'd be getting into a relationship with Niko *and* Avi..." he left it there.

The Ceremony

After the contest, everyone gathered on the dance floor to witness the Best Friend Commitment Ceremony. Our parents walked us up on stage, and Vladimir Snape (aka Nigel Taylor, frontman for Platform One and world famous Severus Snape impersonator) took to the mic. My dad actually wore a tux for the occasion.

We recited "vows" and then Vladimir Snape performed the Unbreakable Vow (of best friendship!). To mark the occasion, we also exchanged flower crowns.

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We then danced off the stage to our song, "Jane" by Jefferson Starship, in homage to our favorite movie, Wet Hot American Summer.

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And, of course, a chair dance and Hora.

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The moral of the story is, if you have a (platonic) best friend who you know is your real life partner, there's nothing wrong with celebrating it. And, if you DO have to call off an engagement, don't be afraid to re-purpose what you've already paid for. Parties are fun.

Nearly a year later, and people still have pictures from the party as their profile pics, make comments to me about how epic it was, and congratulate me on the union. A couple relationships (that are still going on!) were started that night, and everyone had way more fun than they'd ever had at a "real" wedding.

Plus, since almost everyone I know has worked in either theatre and/or food service, our bartender made bank in tips.

I was even able to reuse the magnet Save the Dates to be used as thank you cards.