The Bachelor: Corn Fed & Crazy

It was only a matter of time before zombies officially took over The Bachelor.

(credit: Glamour) / Via glamour.com

The Bachelor may have only just started but it's already got me wishing I was on this season. Um, not. Here are the reasons why I'm perfectly happy watching Chris Soules find his lucky least of the crazy lady from the comfort of my own couch - where I will be once again be eating a bag of Kettle Pop Chips (thanks JetBlue for getting me hooked on these... but at only 120 calories per serving!) then make up for it with some empty calories courtesy of a very real Kettle on the rocks.

Reason #1:

(credit: Hulu.com / ABC) / Via hulu.com

Britt. Seriously Chris? You're gonna trust the rando girl who gives away free hugs on 3rd Street Promenade? You might as well go get a tetnus shot now.

Reason #2:

(credit: Hulu / ABC) / Via hulu.com

We can't seem to get rid of Cody Codes in all his '90s-inspired glory. But then again, we get to reason #3.

Reason #3.

(credit: Hulu / ABC) / Via hulu.com

Michelle Money taking down Britt courtesy of her recent break up with CC (aka Cody Codes) in front of a live audience. Which then leads me to...

Reason #4

(credit: Hulu / ABC) / Via hulu.com

The live audience. Mainly these women from Chris' high school*. (*If that chick in the purple is seriously younger than Chris Soules we have a major problem)

Reason #5

(credit: http://entertainthis.usatoday.com) / Via entertainthis.usatoday.com

Tractor racing. Because every girl I know can't wait to strip down to her bikini, walk through downtown L.A., and hop up onto a piece of farm equipment. Yeehaw!

(credit: WPTZ) / Via wptz.com

But lets talk about the real gem here. ASHLEY "DON'T F**K WITH" ME S. She's obvs off her rocker but I love the fact that the producers (ahem, I mean Chris) keep giving her another chance. She makes for great entertainment and I can only imagine what life would be like if she actually became the next Bachelorette. She'd probably try to make out with an onion/pomegranate.

(Daily Signal & ABC) / Via dailysignal.com

Guess we'll just have to wait and see who gets Chris' final rose. I secretly hope Tara just interrupts the proposal with her BFF, Johnny Walker, and rips the Neil Lane ring right off the winner's hand. Cheers!