VII Ways The Upcoming General Assembly Session Fits In The Star Wars Universe

Having a hard time getting back to work after spending the weekend standing in line in costume, watching The Force Awakens, and keeping track of which friends are safe to discuss plot twists without #spoileralerts? Ease the transition by comparing upcoming policy debates in the Colorado General Assembly session starting this January with Star Wars in your end-of-year memos. Here's a little to get you started.

I. Build, Destroy, Repeat

With a split legislature for this two-year term of the 70th General Assembly (Democratic House Majority, Republican Senate Majority), there were a lot of bills that were built up and passed one house last year, only to be destroyed in the other house. In true Death Star engineering fashion, many of those will be built up again this year, from rain barrels to construction defects, hoping that this time the weaknesses are addressed just enough to get votes from both houses and become law.

II. Major gender equity policies may be overshadowed by sex.

Princess-now-General Leia Organa Solo has some major leadership moments from stopping those idiots from firing blasters in a trash compactor, to running the evacuation of Echo Base, leading the away team on Endor, and other cool stuff as General in Episode VII that we can't talk about here because, spoilers. But it is that slave bikini that steals attention away from all that in the minds of many. Likewise, the legislature may be distracted from a number of bills focusing on pay equity, workplace fairness, and other important issues by morality-rhetoric-anti-sex bills that will target women for the choices they make about their bodies with little chance of becoming law (see I above).

III. TABOR is Jabba the Hutt

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TABOR is that big monster looming over all legislative decisions. Very few can understand it, but we all know it is focused on the money. If you don't meet TABOR requirements, your bill will be frozen in carbonite and not go anywhere.

IV. Clean air or Vader masks?

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The Clean Power Plan will most likely attract legislative attention as the latest arena for the clean environment versus extractive industry showdown in Colorado politics that has been going since the days of the Old Republic.

V. Lobbyists fill the Capitol like Stormtroopers

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Much like the hallways & landing bays of the Death Star, the halls of the Capitol are filled with lobbyists during session. The 100 legislators (all subject to term limits) technically running the place are 5 times outnumbered by registered lobbyists (who are not). This leads to crowds of lobbyists roaming the building who are better at destroying things than catching intruders - or passing bills (according to one analysis).

VI. Behind the scenes supporters may come to light

Before the Clone Wars, those Trade Federation guys were quietly funding the opposition while publicly refusing any ties to the Separatist Alliance. In the post-Citizens United era, there are many organizations that support candidates and issues without disclosing those ties. But with record-levels of outside money spent in school board races last year and huge spending expected in 2016 elections up and down the ticket, legislation may be introduced to help shed some light on those supporters.

VII. Everyone needs a hyperdrive motivator

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Colorado's legislative sessions last for only 120 days, so that is not much time to get something passed. Almost everyone will be wishing their bills can travel faster, especially towards the end of session when items still need floor votes and need to wait 24 hours for next reading as time ticks down to sine die adjournment.