1.
BEANS AND BEANS AND BEANS
2.
The protection you get from having health insurance
3.
are u even at the cheesecake factory if there isn’t a group of unsupervised 15 year old girls there dressed like they’re going to the met gala
4.
missed my chance there huh
5.
are we supposed to just accept that gingerbread men live in houses built from the flesh of their fellow men
6.
UNPOPULAR OPINION: hot chocolate is better than coffee
7.
Contractor: well it’s not really in an ideal location. Traffic patterns would be a nightmare, you can’t really get in and out of the parking lot easily, and there really wouldn’t be much parking for customers and employees. Chick-fil-A owner: I’ll take it.
8.
when you got your ass whopped and ya mom says come and eat
9.
I had to get to the airport early to head 2 terminals over to snag my #emotionalsupportchicken @timweston @HorizonsOne @heatherw25
10.
you ever just fold the whole digiorno in half instead of cutting it into slices because you have no one
11.
Last night.🤤😋😊
12.
I made a restaurant for my 2 and a half year old
13.
When you insist on paying the bill
14.
How old were you when you realized this is actually a straw holder?
15.
It's Chips Ahoy, not Chips AHER It's Milanos, not MILANAS It's Tim Tams, not TIM TAMMYS https://t.co/LxRIoV3A3C
16.
Congratulations, you've invented the cellar. https://t.co/CMhakU2E1T
17.
my guinea pig tasted a lemon today
18.
who would like to have me over for a nice spaghetti dinner
19.
Dear god https://t.co/EaUbWEjICU