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Me eating her leftovers in the kitchen at 2am
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why
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boss: you failed your drug test me: there were poppyseeds on my bagel boss: so what about the weed and amphetamines me: boss: me: it was an everything bagel
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every drink i make is a handcrafted beverage made with care and craft
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I'm at a wedding and they went with a Gritty cake, so rest assured that there is ONE thing in this universe that isn't garbage trash https://t.co/OEajyvsNFX
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@GraceSpelman I remembered the time that I wanted to dress as “cotton candy” for Halloween and handmade my costume
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i texted my dad saying “happy monday let’s get this bread”. his response was “i can go to Costco after work”. amazing
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This is the epitome of transferable job skills https://t.co/G6SyveH7UK
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I stan a carrot carved like a Chinese god
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LMAOOOOOOO someone come get my dad
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October: let’s get that pumpkin bread November: let’s get that corn bread December: let’s get that ginger bread
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when i introduce a friend to a place i've been a million time and i tell them to order the goat biryani instead of chicken tikka masala https://t.co/ogVekI9pfH
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been eating trader joe's 'everything but the bagel' seasoning straight from the shaker and now i can see through walls
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candy corn, you're next, bitch. https://t.co/l4XmbGgCJH
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the class system in the u.s. is people who search food in google maps vs people who search restaurants
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do y’all light the fire before or after you pour the milk