1.
When the milkshake extra thick
2.
ive finally gathered all the infinity stones
3.
Took some grease off my pizza today with a napkin so if you see me looking skinny tomorrow don’t be alarmed
4.
So I smelled food during my stat lecture, look down and literally see a girl eating steak and lobster...can’t make this stuff up https://t.co/vCTwWrg4lX
5.
Little Caesars: It's hot and it's ready. Me: Is it good? Little Caesars: It's HOT. And it's READY.
6.
who else peels their strawberries?🤣
7.
*accidentally eats fruit seed* Friend: Omg you know it’s gonna grow in your stomach??????? 7 yr old me:
8.
It’s the remix to ignition
9.
do u guys eat ur burgers with or without the peel?
10.
This just happened
11.
I turn hotdog water into ice cubes for guests that I don't like
12.
Just remembered that I ordered a sandwich last night purely because it was called a "Mr. Worldwide"
13.
Its that time again.
14.
my sister finally drank after 9 months of being pregnant and this is what happens😭😂😭 I am crying
15.
whenever i’m sad i just think about this one time sophomore year when a girl gave my teacher this cake to commemorate the 3 month anniversary of us turning in our essays that still hadn’t been graded https://t.co/jCywHKxVG5
16.
My nephews Ethan’s pre-k class made a cook book, and all the kids had to come up with all the recipes😂😂 so much better than I could’ve imagined. https://t.co/X5d0Sqzw5N
17.
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
18.
saw a husband tonight trade his plate of food with his wife because she liked what he ordered better & that's the kind of marriage i want
19.
When you're in denial about your unhealthy eating habits
20.
I would eat these & have to pay myself back later 😂😂 https://t.co/RxAaTnV1oV
21.
I put cucumbers, lemons, lime, and mint leaves in my water today thinking I was fancy...my one student gonna yell out and say “Ms. Luck got a salad in her water” *students erupt in laughter*
22.
she asked for cheese sticks tho https://t.co/1jQJr4topU
23.
[getting urine test results] You've tested positive for opiates- ME: probably the bagel I had -and THC, cocaine, steroids, and also you're pregnant ME: it was an everything bagel
24.
International students at breakfast
25.
Really glad I started meal prepping, really changed my life.
26.
I go upstairs for 2 mins
27.
Made a sandwich 10 min ago and been looking for it ever since then🤦🏾♂️ I gotta stop smoking😂
28.
Me at Olive Garden looking at the menu knowing damn well I’m getting Chicken Alfredo