25 Awkward Cat Sleeping Positions: #26-50

Many of these are more advanced than those described in 1 through 25. Use your best judgement and do not attempt without a sleeping partner.

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26. The Full Dog

For this, you will need a willing dog and preternatural sense of balance.

27. The Yin Yang

The Yin Yang sleeping position is two sides of the same coin - though you will need to decide with your partner which one of you is to be the evil one.

28. The Copykitten

Find a kitten. Imitate the kitten.

29. The Town Drunk

Alone or with a partner, this position is ideal for daytime sleeping, especially if you have already given up on pursuing a meaningful career.

30. The Window Dressing

It is easy to find the appropriate window, and easier still to adopt the appropriate posture for this sleeping position, but it will take years of practice to fully master the knowing, world-weary expression that is its most essential component.

31. The Reluctant Traveler

Tire yourself out asking whether we are "there yet," then snore as loudly as possible.

32. The Pianist

Do not even consider attempting this unless you have a Steinway or (if you are desperate) a Mason & Hamlin.

33. Between Two Stools

Any old kitchen stools will do for this one, but it's cheating to use paws, so make sure you have strong neck muscles!

34. The Clamp

Find a friend with a strong pair of thighs and get to work.

35. The Enthusiast

Find something to celebrate and then promptly lose interest.

36. The File Drawer

File yourself under either "C" for "Cat," or "I" for "Idiot," depending on the filing system in your home or office.

37. The Half-Handstand

You don't need to be fully vertical for this one, but it's very important that your back legs be pointing optimistically skyward.

38. The Disc Jockey

The shades will prevent people from knowing that you are asleep, but they won't help in hiding the fact that you are kind of a douchebag.

39. The Porcelain God

This one is EXTREMELY ADVANCED. Do not attempt unless you have years of practice passing out in bathrooms.

40. The Surprise Package

Remember to act like you couldn't possibly care less when someone opens the box and finds you inside.

41. The Tight Squeeze

You will have to become very good at ignoring all the haters who are like, "Now this box is definitely too small for you, Mr. Snugglypants."

42. The Cliffhanger

Be sure to find a sleeping partner you can trust for this one, or you'll end up as a big pile of fur underneath the chair.

43. The Guitarist

Do not even consider attempting this unless you have a Les Paul or (if you are desperate) a Fender.

44. The Bottom Drawer

Pretend you are a pair of stripey, furry, freshly laundered boxer shorts.

45. The CD Collection

Pretend you are a discarded and long-forgotten copy of Aerosmith's 1993 smash "Get A Grip."

46. The Cat Scan

Lie on your back and dream of being a perfect facsimile of yourself, crisp and warm from the output tray.

47. The Undercover Squirrel

Stay very still and think very hard about acorns.

48. The Narcoleptic Gymnast

For this one, you will need a lifelong dedication to the noble sport of gymnastics and a modest supply of Ambien.

49. Big Cat, Little Box

Do not let society constrain you with their antiquated ideas about "boundaries" and "things you really, genuinely can not fit into no matter how hard you try."

50. The Full-Sink

Let the cool porcelain soothe your back as you dream contentedly about a houseful of people temporarily unable to brush their teeth.

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