16 People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Fly
"The guy next to me started clipping his toenails in the middle of the flight."
1. The dream team
"The guy on my right threw up on me, just as the plane took off (I was wearing shorts), and the guy on my left said, 'It could be worse,' while showing me the book he was reading about a plane crash."
–Nicole Perez, Facebook
2. The surprise attack
"This guy pulled out toenail clippers and proceeded to clip his toenails in the middle of the flight. One even flew in my face!"
3. The guy who forgot to pack his manners
"So I was seated next to an older man who seemed nice enough. But my friend told me that after I fell asleep he stared at me the whole time and tried touching/smelling my hair. My friend said that she had to put her hand up repeatedly and give him a look to get him to stop."
4. The triple threat
"I sat down and this lady immediately started talking to me. Then, the farting started. It smelled like weeks old McDonalds. I had to lean completely against the window and breathe through my mouth the whole flight."
5. The dedicated educator
"The random woman next to me was a teacher. She saw that I was doing homework and wouldn't let me put it away or take a break until every single bit was finished."
6. The doll whisperer
"I sat next to a woman who pulled a baby doll out of her backpack and proceeded to treat it like a real child for the entire flight. She was rocking it, she would lick her finger to wipe stuff off its face, she was talking to it."
7. The parent of the year
"About 20 minutes into the flight, a mother next to me turns and asks if I'll watch her baby. I say of course and off the mother goes, presumably to the bathroom. An hour later, she hasn't returned. She leaves again, and two hours later a flight attendant tells me they found the mother in first class with her husband. The baby was over the age limit for sitting in a parent's lap and they did not want to pay for a third first class seat. So according to the mother, she 'found a nice looking young woman to care for her child.'"
8. The unthinkable
"I was flying from New York to Atlanta when the guy across the aisle pulled out a container full of tuna salad. He tired to hide it by facing the window, but the smell was horrific."
9. The accuser
"This guy ordered a hotdog from dinner but fell asleep before it got to him. While he was sleeping, he ATE the hotdog. He woke up with ketchup and mustard all over his shirt and then accused me of stealing his meal."
10. The reason you don't want kids
"I was doodling, and this little boy grabbed my photos and flung them in the air. I leaned over to pick them up, and he grasped an entire fistful of my hair and yanked it out, from the roots! Like, a hairball the size of a gerbil. I think I bled."
11. The co-pilot
"I sat next to a man who looked out the window and did a verbal countdown for the whole flight. He kept saying, "We are going to land in 10, nine, eight...", and when he got down to zero he'd start back up again at "10, nine, eight..." It was a a three-hour flight."
–Alyssa Michelle Diaz, Facebook
13. The divorcées
"I found my seat, but a couple was already there: a man at the end and a woman by the window. I asked if I had the wrong aisle, but the lady said she just didn't want to sit next the guy, as they were divorced. I had to sit in the middle. They fought over me the whole flight."
14. The star-crossed lovers
"On a night flight to Copenhagen I sat in the window and fell asleep. I woke up to the two people in my aisle DOING THE NASTY. They had just met, and there were six hours left in the flight.:
15. The American idol
"I was on a six-hour flight and the woman sitting next to me thought it was perfectly OK to sing loudly the entire time. She wasn't a bad singer, but by the one-hour mark it got REALLY old."
16. The one that proved you wrong
"I was in the same row as two teenagers, a brother and sister. In the middle of the flight the boy started MASTURBATING while watching Tim Allen's The Santa Clause."
–Sherri Potter, Facebook
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.