1. Bill Oddie says starlings are now taking Prozac.
it’s definitely not silly season (pt 2)
2. This gripping Pope news.
3. West Brom's new mascot is a combi-boiler.
Our new mascot is a boiler #wba 😂😂😂
4. People in Dawlish were annoyed that this 7ft gorilla statue in a crazy golf course was staring into their houses – so the owner turned it around and they're now annoyed they have to look at its bum.
5. Gerry Adams is publishing a cookbook, because of course.
6. Someone spotted this python casually devouring a pigeon on Leytonstone High Road, east London.
Just a python eating a pigeon on Leytonstone High Road #londonlife
7. Someone painted this seagull pink for some reason.
Police hunt painted seagull culprits.... https://t.co/gS9OQpdWtp
8. This woman says she has sex with a ghost.
'I have sex with ghosts and they give me better orgasms than any man ever could' https://t.co/vnPxk3HG8D
9. A stranded, sweary parrot told a firefighter to "fuck off".
10. The Sun newspaper then went one step further and actually interviewed the sweary parrot.
11. This serious news discussion, inspired by a film in which Jason Statham fights a massive shark.
There's a man on Sky News in an Eagles t-shirt comparing shark tooth sizes so I think we can confirm a swift return to silly season https://t.co/xGgLWX29vc
12. Man in Karlsruhe, Germany, phoned the police because he was being chased by a squirrel. "Help, I'm being pursued by a squirrel!" he told emergency call handlers.
„Hilfe, ich werde von einem #Eichhörnchen verfolgt!“ Eventuell mit diesen Worten richtete sich am Do, gegen 8:00 Uhr früh, ein Mann an den Karlsruher Polizeinotruf. Zur PM: https://t.co/QwOz51pXH8 Eure #Polizei #Karlsruhe https://t.co/hMIeu6g0tS
13. This guy, who was told his basketball shirt and black shorts were not considered "smart-casual".
Diner's fury after steakhouse says his basketball top is not 'smart-casual' https://t.co/XdXi8KtlK6
14. This.
15. Whatever the hell is happening here.
16. When Pete Doherty smashed through an epic breakfast challenge in under 20 minutes.
17. This scarecrow harassment case.
18. There was an earthquake in a town called Fryup in North Yorkshire.
