back to top

22 Weird Things Everyone Starts Doing When They Move To Dundee

They don't call it the city of discovery for nothing.

Posted on

1. You become an unofficial spokesperson for Dundee.

Rain or shine, you'll drag them down to Broughty Ferry beach to show them how pretty Dundee can be. Then you hit them with this doozy: "Did you know Lorraine Kelly has a house around about here?"

2. Not to mention an unofficial spokesperson for Fat Sam's.

Even though it doesn't technically exist anymore. But you'll know you've really become a native when you're describing it as "Fat Sam's" rather than "Club Tropicana and Vogue." And at least the Buddhas are still there.

3. You start to complain about the prices in Duke's.

Instagram: @dukescorner

Seriously, where do you think you are Duke's? Edinburgh?

4. You surprise yourself by becoming a bit of a foodie.

Instagram: @natasharadical

Who knew Dundee had so many amazing restaurants? Telling your out-of-town friends that you know a great tapas bar but you have to book weeks in advance to get a table is the most Carrie Bradshaw you'll ever feel and YOU LOVE IT.


5. You start to make that weird "eeh" noise at the end of every question.

HBO / Giphy

“That’s not where I parked my car, eeh?” “You’ve been working here for a while, eeh?” “You sure you’re alright with me putting it there, eeh?”

6. You catch yourself saying "ken" all the time.

When everyone ye ken has their life together and you're just sittin lit

You can’t help it, it just comes out.

7. The word "belter" quickly enters your vocabulary as well.

Belter, saw this on #Facebook. Couple in #dundee, oot on the scaffolding to catch some rays 😂🙈🌞 #housing #scotland

It can mean something that's really good or really bad depending on the context, but you'll never fully understand the true meaning until you see a real "beltuuuurrr" with your own eyes.

8. And one day, you find yourself asking for a "tin of juice" instead of a can of pop.

Instagram: @heartxandxsole

Even though the first time you heard someone else say it, you thought they were asking for a glass of watery dregs from a can of pineapples.


10. You’ll become inexplicably acquainted with a Dundee or Dundee United football player.

Instagram: @elaineomand

Whether they go to your gym, or turn out to be somebody’s wee brother’s best pal, they're kind of like rats in that they're never more than 6ft away (probably).

11. You start to describe Dundee's lack of nightlife as "charming" rather than "very dull."

At first the lack of choice annoys you, but now, when the DJ at Underground talks over the music to give wee Stevie and team a shout-out, you find it charming AF.

12. You find yourself staring wistfully at the Tay every day.

Instagram: @apicfromliv

That river is a tricksy minx hell-bent on distracting you, which is annoying since it’s a) fucking huge b) fucking everywhere. Why don't Dundonians appreciate it or look at it more? Are they dead inside?


13. You'll also become distracted by constant thoughts of Clark’s 24-hour bakery.

Especially at about 3am, when the desire for a Helicopter (burger, lorne, bacon, fried egg and chips in a bun) becomes dangerously all-consuming.

15. You'll also start to seriously consider what your future looks like in Dundee.

Should you marry someone rich and move to the Ferry, marry someone you love and move to Tayport, or marry a fresh medical graduate, move to the West End, and wait for the investment to pay off? Decisions, decisions.

16. Like native Dundonians, you'll refuse to pay a tenner to see Captain Scott's world famous ship.

Instagram: @1daviddavies

But you're happy to wander down there to take a selfie with the penguins.


17. You start worrying about the possibility of the Tay Bridge closing due to bad weather.

Dundonians talk about the occasional closure of the Tay Bridge as if Voldemort is coming back from the dead for a square go. After a while, you start to get the fear too, even if you don't drive, have a car, or ever need to leave Dundee.

18. You also start promising yourself that you'll go for a jog over the bridge on a nice day.

Instagram: @finlay_irving

New city, new you and that.

19. But you’ll just end up in Visocchi’s eating ice cream.

Instagram: @kayleighwanless

Just look at it. When people say nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, they're wrong. Visocchi's Nutella ice cream tastes way better.

20. You will try to climb Desperate Dan like a tree.

Instagram: @emmasween

He was clearly intended to be a climbing frame for drunk people on their way to buy burgers from Clark's.

21. You get excessively excited by royal visits.

hahahahaha no way did someone in Dundee hand the queen a b&m bag full of toys for George n Charlotte today

First it was Wills and Kate, then a couple of months later Prince Philip and the Queen came up for a look around. You'd genuinely never believe it, but royals just keep coming back for the Dee. Must be the burgers and ice cream.

22. And you'll find that you're no longer surprised by news headlines like this:

Dundee, you're a damn weird place but we love you.