The Five Stages of Grief as applied to the Merseyside Derby

This weekend marks the 221st Merseyside Derby. Everton vs Liverpool, the Blues vs the Reds, the Toffees vs the Kopites...no matter which side you support, you'll go through these feelings

Denial

We're gonna batter them, you spend hours watching dead boss clips of your team's victory on Youtube, and make out that every one of their players isn't fit to play in the Championship

Anger

i1.mirror.co.uk

You REALLY fucking hate them. You remember every snidey tackle, spawny penalty, sly dig and no one who knows you will even mention the match because they know you'll just snarl at them.

Bargaining

i.minus.com

You realise that both teams are pretty good and you start to feel shaky. You'd take a draw now, and not bother to watch the whole thing. You get dead superstitious and pray for Suarez/Lukaku to be miraculously injured.

Depression

static.guim.co.uk

They're boss, you are shite. We're gonna get beat and your team will probably pick up a few injuries along the way, and a couple of bans. Everything is shite and you wish it was Monday already.

Acceptance

i.dailymail.co.uk

Que sera sera. Let's just get this over with. After the match you'll be bezzie mates again. You know no matter what happens, you'll be in the Gwladys/Kop end, screaming your lungs out and you'll be bladdered on County Road by 6pm. Then again...COME ON EVERTON, THESE ARE SHITE!