The victim
Dear god, dear society, dear you, and dear me, who is the victim in all of this? Is it the girl who suffered the terrible fate? Is it her parents? Or is it the thousands of women who suffer this every single day around the world? Can the perpetrators of the crime be considered victims?
We wonder, we scream, we get angry and we blame. Who do we blame? Society? Movies? Alcohol? Our women oppressing culture? Have you ever been stopped by a child on the street with his hand out begging for some change? Have you ever passed through the slums and covered your nose because the smell was unbearable? Have you ever took a walk down the street and thought how many people call it their home?
Like most of us, my days are filled with complaints. I complain of having to get up early, of work, of school, of movies, celebrities, families, money, the government and so much more. Yet, every day I am reminded how blessed I am and I am ready to start all over the next day. But there are some people who don't have that luxury. These people don't have much and possibly don't see any hopes of getting a better life. These people spend whatever money they have and waste it on alcohol and drugs, these people don't go to schools, these people abuse their powers over others, these people have no respect for humanity, these people have twisted thoughts, these people are to blame, aren't they?
Every person has a history. Humans share over 98% of their DNA yet we are all very different. We are shaped more by our environments and society than over genetic makeup. Those men who did the crime, we hate on them, then we hate on our society for not protecting its women, then we blame our government, then we blame our thinking. We protest, we write, we fight, and we cry. We wonder how somebody can be so inhumane. We demand public incarceration. We demand tougher laws, and faster judgments. Then we see change, and we rejoice. We get happy when there is the death penalty announced. We hope that this will teach lesson to future rapist. But then we see history repeat itself. We get sad, we see all our efforts are in vain. We question, all these laws, all these protest, all this media attention and people continue to do their criminal acts. Then we wonder why…
Studies have shown, research has proven, even religion has validated that no external force can change a person, it comes from within. If laws changed people, there wouldn't be repeat offenders, there wouldn't be overcrowded jails, but there are. The most beautiful and powerful thing that exists on this plant is our brains. We shape our worlds through our brains. Our perceptions are what our brains show us, not what is true in reality. Our thoughts are more powerful than any weapon ever created. Our thoughts are shaped by what we see, what we feel, what we believe and what we hope. So can it be that these rapists have thoughts shaped by what they have seen all their lives? Our brains are smart enough to store memories and make associations. When I think of sugar, I think of sweet similarly perhaps these men think of objects to be played with when they think of women. Does that mean these men shouldn't be punished because they are the victims of their thoughts? Or does that mean they are responsible for their actions and should be hanged? Doesn't the girl need justice? Her parents need closure. Future rapist need to think twice before they act on their thoughts. The punishment of these men will teach them a lesson for sure, right?
I don't have answers for these questions, nor do I want them. All I know is that when I think of these situations I get angry, I become hateful but after a few minutes I get back to my routine, my complains and my life. I think what can I possible do sitting out here? I am not in the heart of the action. Then I watch some news feed or documentary and my emotions are awaken again. I ask why? I ask god how could you let this happen? How could you let your created world be this way? Then I tell myself god has a plan for everything. Things can't happen against his wishes so if something bad happens to someone they must have deserved it somehow or another. This is my way of coping, to avoid feeling helpless I reason with myself. I reason with religion, I reason with beliefs. Most of us do. This is the way we live. We all have our problems, our faiths are questioned every day, we see a split world. One in which there is a crisis over the color of a dress, while another one in which a group of people are beheaded by people claiming to protect their religion. We battle with our thoughts, and question everything we know. Then we get a phone call, a text message or an email asking us to come to work early, to teach a class, or to attend a birthday party. Then we are again oriented to our realities, to our lives. Then we walk the walks of this journey we call life. We can never really know who the victim is. The victim of a crime? The victim of a thought? The victim of society? The victim of situation? So I ask again, dear god, dear society, dear you and dear me, who is the victim in all of this?
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