10 Products For The Alpaca Fan In Your Life

Everyone lloves llamas, but did you know that most of the cute and cuddly "llama" pictures that pop up on your Tumblr dashboards and Instagram feeds are actually of alpacas? Lluckily, there's no shortage of adorable "lloot" for the alpaca "alficionados" in your life. "Llinks" to each item in the photo credits!

1. This precious pin ($10)

Susie Ghahremani / Via shop.boygirlparty.com

For when you want to say "alpacas are wicked adorable" but your office dress code forbids you from wearing, say, an alpaca print dress or a full size alpaca kigurumi.

Bonus: you're supporting an indie artist!

2. This mildly disturbing party mask ($47.95)

Purely Alpaca / Via purelyalpaca.com

Because the Horse Head is so 2014.

Bonus: you see out of the nose holes! So quirky!

3. Paca-Poo Candies! (price varies)

Island Alpaca / Via islandalpaca.com

These sweet treats are crafted specifically for the Island Alpaca Company in Martha's Vineyard to simultaneously taste delicious AND resemble the droppings left by their cuddly herds. Yum! The flavors rotate and currently they are producing chocolate covered cashews.

4. ACTUAL "Paca Poo" ($12.00)

Darkstar Alpacas / Via etsy.com

Alpaca manure makes an excellent fertilizer, and there are recipes all over the Internet for "Alpaca Bean Tea," a liquid fertilizer for indoor plants for those home gardeners who don't particularly want to look at or smell poo pellets on their herbs and flowers (although they still have to look at them floating in the pitcher so I don't really see how that's better).

I do have to wonder why they call it tea, though. Wouldn't the fact that it comes from a bean (a poo bean, but still) make it more of a coffee?

5. WWJDIHWBIAGA?* ($19.95)

Purely Alpaca / Via purelyalpaca.com

*What Would Jesus Do If He Were Born Inside A Giant Alpaca?

Do you have a quirky aunt or teacher who collects Nativity scenes? Do you ever go to her house and walk by all the little ceramic wise men and tiny baby Jesuses (Jesii? Don't ask me, I'm Jewish!) and think "wow, she is really devoted to her faith and her collection but this whole setup needs more cuddly animals that spit at people?" If so, I just crossed one item off your gift-giving list and you can sleep in heavenly peace this Christmas season.

6. Alpaca Bag ($21.50)

Rebel Style Shop / Via rebelstyleshop.com

If your or your friend's interest in alpacas lies more in their "kawaii" qualities than, say, the warmth of their wool or the efficiency of their poo but you're searching for something with a little more function than a simple pin or hat, alpaca bag for you. Get it? Alpaca bag? (I'm so going to die in my mid-thirties when someone shanks me for a bad pun). It comes in a variety of cute pastel colors and is currently on sale.

7. Infinity Scarf ($34.95)

In The Company Of Dogs / Via inthecompanyofdogs.com

Hey, that alpaca is really weird looking!

Oh wait, it's a dog. That explains a lot. It's a whippet, which is a sighthound bred for its speed and sleekness. However, as a result of this, it has a tendency to get cold. That's where the alpaca wool infinity scarf comes in, because of course infinity scarves for dogs exist.

8. A Token Of Your "Llove" ($98.00)

HappinessBluebird / Via etsy.com

Sorry* about the llama puns. Nothing says romance like two needle-felted alpacas with Swarovski crystals for eyes. This particular pair is a tad on the heteronormative side but the artist does custom work so you may still be in luck if you're planning a "llesbian" wedding.

*I'm not sorry

9. This simple headband ($22.00)

Snowbella / Via etsy.com

Because until there's a Snapchat filter that gives you big lashes and alpaca ears and a big spit noise when you open your mouth, there's this. The ears are detachable from the headband base so if you're cosplaying as, say, a hybrid of an alpaca and Vincent Van Gogh, you can wear one at a time.

10. ...and llast but not lleast, Alpaca Nail Art for the fashionista on a budget! ($1.99)

TrinityNails / Via etsy.com

Easy to apply llama and alpaca decals to bring your manicure to the next "llevel." They come in 23 different colors so you can rock the "llook" while supporting your favorite sports team, school, disease awareness organization or political campaign. Celebrate Pride with alpacas across the spectrum, coordinate your bridesmaids' alpaca manicures with their dresses at your wedding, or jazz up the fall/winter with a seasonal/holiday look (happy Llamakah!)

If you want to meet an alpaca...

...visit Island Alpaca in Vineyard Haven, MA like I did! The admission fee is only 5 dollars and you might get to meet my buddy Estrada the Selfie Alpaca.

(don't get too close to the mother alpacas, they're very protective and one of them hocked a loogie on my grandpa)