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    Updated on Jul 13, 2018. Posted on Jul 13, 2018

    22 Tweets That Prove Liza Koshy Is Just Like Us

    "I wonder if bees ever brag about the number of flowers they've been inside of."

    1. On friendship:

    all women have matching friendship bracelets they're just called hair ties

    2. On attention seeking:

    i purposefully choose to use the broken, loud grocery cart at the store because i crave the attention

    3. On cars:

    i’ve convinced myself that all of the scratches on my car are just stretch marks and she’s just a tiger who earned her stripes

    4. On bees:

    i wonder if bees ever brag about the number of flowers they've been inside of

    5. On expired food:

    the people who introduced croutons, raisins and wine convinced the entire world that it was ok to eat old, expired food. genius.

    Liza Koshy / Via

    6. On superheroes:

    um i just found a spider in my bra. i may or may shoot web from my breasts soon. stay tuned. spiderboob homecoming

    7. On patience:

    all patience is built in airports, traffic and bathroom lines for women

    8. On saving money:

    i just realized how much money i could save on toilet paper if i had a penis

    9. On catfishing:

    every person i meet says how much taller they thought id be... im disappointing everyone and catfishing the internet

    10. On using the bathroom:

    i only get on twitter when i'm on the toilet which is weird because i tweet 3 times a week when i should be tweeting at least 7 times a day

    Liza Koshy / Via

    11. On beauty:

    i've convinced myself that my blackheads are actually cute little freckles. cant tell if i'm a genius or completely lacking personal hygiene

    12. On Macbooks:

    when a macbook error pops up, am i the only person that clicks "report to apple" every time? i feel like they should know they made me cry

    13. On showing up late:

    im late to everything... work, texts, tweets, parties, trends, time, dms, tags, my menstrual cycle, im pregnant, with twins, two girls, help

    14. On doin' squats:

    i did like 3 1/2 squats... which was just enough confidence to put on yoga pants and spank myself in the mirror while crumping viciously

    Liza Koshy / Via

    15. On Stranger Things:

    i twerk viciously to the stranger things intro song

    16. On toilet paper:

    you know you've reached a point of pure laziness when you're using paper towels as toilet paper... for 2 weeks straight my butt hurts

    17. On cyberstalking:

    sunday is the perfect lazy day to lay around and stalk people 143 weeks deep into their lives

    18. On pregnancy:

    happy mother's day to all the ladies who think they are mothers once a month.. today is not for you honey, CONGRATS!

    19. On dogs:

    i just wanna be a dog. im friendly, loyal, i like walks, i eat off the floor, im almost potty trained... im a dog.

    Liza Koshy / Via

    20. On food babies:

    i can't wait to rub my giant belly and know there's a baby growing inside and not just a massive ball of chipotle

    21. On toilet seat covers:

    anybody else walk into a place, find it to be trustworthy and think... "you know what, I'm not gonna use a toilet seat cover here"

    22. On awkward moments:

    my Uber got out of the car to stretch and i thought he was giving me a hug goodbye… i gave him a hug 5 stars just wasn't enough

    Liza Koshy / Via

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