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    Updated on Jul 17, 2020. Posted on Jul 14, 2020

    Just Because Fondant Is Cute Doesn't Mean It Tastes Good

    More like fonDON’T.

    So there's been a lot of cake discourse on the interwebs as of late. Are you cake? Am I cake? No one truly knows.

    don't trust anyone, not even yourself

    But from all this talk, one very valid point has stuck out to me the most and it's worth repeating over and over again...FONDANT. TASTES. AWFUL.

    Person saying "The flavor" except the words "lack of" have been Photoshopped in between
    Lynn Spirit / BuzzFeed / Via

    Now don't get me wrong, as a cake connoisseur I can appreciate all that fondant does for us. It makes for some beautiful, lifelike cakes, and it takes a skilled artist to work with it successfully. Half a point for talent.

    Getty Images / TLC

    But when you're plopping what is essentially Play-Doh mixed with sugar on top of some otherwise delicious cake, you're left with something that is cute for the eyes and offensive on the taste buds.

    Ms. Juicy Baby looking at a fondant cake with disgust
    Getty Images / TLC

    Ultimately, cake is supposed to be fun and delicious, and as far as I'm concerned, adding more fondant than cake just makes 50% of the experience inedible. There's no bigger buzzkill.

    Bakeking TV Cake Channel / Via

    And if you think I'm alone in this, say hello to my other fondant-hating Twitter friends:

    you serve me an 80% fondant cake you going to hell

    Fondant is cheating make it with buttercream you cowards

    Stop. Being. So. Impressed. By. Fondant. It's just stale frosting, stop it, stop it, stop it.

    Everyone who's obsessed with the EVERYTHING IS A CAKE movement, 99% of those cakes are covered in Fondant, which tastes like a mixture of playdoh, sugar, depression, and ass. Ya'll can keep that shit and I'll keep my regular ass cakes with frosting 👊

    This. Conventional icing is delicious. Fondant tastes like you're biting into a stick of fresh mounting putty.

    Buttercream has what fondant wants. Royal icing is regal for a reason. Ganache is far ahead of the game. Hell, even those jars of frosting that we love to dip our fingers into could beat fondant's ass in a fight.

    A jar of Pillsbury Funfetti frosting
    Pillsbury / Via

    The possibilities are endless for literally any other type of frosting/icing, and it'll even taste better too! Just look at what you can achieve when you think outside the fondant box!

    Now, if you're a fondant apologist unlike me, then you might say, "Hi loser, tasty fondant does exist! Haven't you ever heard of marshmallow fondant?!" Why yes Steve, I have. But eating fondant-topped cake shouldn't be a gamble. This isn't Vegas. If I see fondant, I'm eating the cake part and chucking the rest straight into the trash.

    Person with a cake for a head plays a slot game
    Getty Images / BuzzFeed

    And as far as those who say that decorating with fondant is like cheating, I'm not gonna pretend that good fondant art doesn't exist. It definitely does. But you know what's equally — if not more — challenging? Creating cake art with something that isn't quite as solid and pliable to begin with.

    Preppy Kitchen / Via

    But let's be real, some of y'all have taken the fondant art TOO FAR. Like, now I have to question my own reality.

    if i bite into a chicken sandwich and its cake im sending you to god.

    Sideserf Cake Studio / Via

    This isn't all to say that fondant needs to be canceled; I just need those who claim to enjoy cake to at least acknowledge that, despite being "edible," fondant doesn't have very many edible qualities in its default, chalky state.

    the fanciest looking cake with fondant and all usually taste like shit.

    So if you happen to discover that you are in fact made of cake, consider coating yourself in any other type of frosting, because you deserve better than what fondant has to offer.


    And if you still disagree with me, you're probably a stack of fondant cakes hiding behind a trench coat.