Five Things You MUST Teach In Sex Ed

A guide for the struggling Sexual Education Teacher.

1. Do NOT allow yourselves to think about sex!

Via sold.soyouthinkyoucanwrite.com

Abstinence is the key to a happy life! I know that you are all teenagers and sex is constantly on the mind, but it is really best to just NOT THINK about it.

2. Sex is dangerous!

STDs are real and common. You know what is great. Normally I would say we should go over condoms, but if we refer back to number 1, it is not necessary :)

3. You should probably just not masturbate.

EWW. Don't touch your "privates". Its rather gross and simply unclean. Your partner is going to be best at discovering what you like in bed...when you have found a committed husband...they will service you! It's simply unnecessary to touch all that.

4. Sex IS taboo and you should be embarrassed.

It's better to simply not talk about sex in public. If you are going to ask something do it in front of the entire class and be awkward about it! It is embarrassing to talk about your "private parts". Sometimes its best to ask your parents! Don't lose your innocence. Sex is really for adults and you all should not be involved.

5. Sex is not for pleasure.

But really. I am not here to teach you how to have pleasurable sex. That is just a side effect of procreation. Sex can be a nice thing, but the truth of the matter is that it creates life.