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11 Bulletproof Ways To Get Through Diet Season

I don’t know who this ‘master’ is, but he can naff off with his ‘cleanse’.

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Welp, here we are in January.

It’s freezing, your trouser cuffs are permanently wet, you spent all your money over Christmas, and your jeans are too tight. But you can get through the month without buying a Thighmaster. You can.

2. Remember this stuff?

It’s pronounced ‘war-tur’. You might not recognise it because it didn’t come in a gift box with some speciality cheese, but try drinking a glass of it before and after every meal anyway.


6. Avoid anyone who uses the word ‘juice’ as a verb.

They’ll draw you in with their promises of glowing skin, then leave you with a £500 juicer that will turn 20lb of fruit into exactly 0.01 nanolitres of sickly green-grey sludge. Once.


Hooray for diet season!