1. First off, we are doing a TERRIBLE job when it comes to dietary restrictions.
2. Time to cut out the shellfish.
3. Hopefully nobody's EATING YOUR PETS.
4. Or eating... weird-ass animals.
5. America is gonna have trouble with the no-fat rule, though.
6. Eating blood. BLOOD.
7. Oh, and there's like, 100 birds we shouldn't chow down on, either.
8. Secondly, our fashion is one huge blasphemous abomination to God.
9. Thought you were gonna wear your leather jacket over that cotton V-neck? Think again, sinner.
10. After fashion comes personal appearance. Supercuts is about to go straight outta business.
11. And I hope you ladies like a man with some scruff!
12. Tattoos? Forget about it.
13. Some things seem rather harmless, like having a mixed garden.
14. Or Bichon-Yorkies.
15. Other things are sorta bad, I guess. Like revenge.
16. There's a bunch of things we're not supposed to touch.
17. Some really confuse me. You mean, less church is better?
18. Like, they really confuse me: No alcohol in church. What?!
19. Last but not least: Working on Sundays. The whole NFL is screwed!
That's 19 strong, solid rules that just about everybody is following. So let's reexamine the gays.
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