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15 Thoughts You Have When You Get Pooped On

Spoiler alert: birds suck

Posted on

I was pooped on twice within the past week/week and a half. I had never been pooped on by a bird in my entire life. The first time was in my hair and the second time was on my bosom.

1. What is this?

THEGIFLIBRARY.TUMBLR.COM / Via giphy.com

Last time I checked, ice cream didn't fall from the sky.

2. Did I just get pooped on?

MISCGIFS.TUMBLR.COM / Via giphy.com

Sweet lord, I did.

3. How the heck do I remove this?

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I don't want to touch it.

4. Where is the nearest bathroom?

5. Excuse me, do you have club soda that you would be so kind as to dump on a napkin so that I can remove the bird feces from my bosom?

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Thanks!

6. Why won't it come out?!

7. Why did this have to happen today?

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I JUST BOUGHT THIS SHIRT THE OTHER DAY THAT I WAS POOPED ON.

8. What were the chances of me being the victim?

9. Why are people watching me use the hand dryer to dry the rest of my body?

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It's not that weird.

10. Is this really good luck?

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It sure doesn't feel like it.

11. Would it be weird if I just started wearing a rain poncho everywhere?

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No more poop! No more poop!

12. Has anyone ever been pooped on at an outdoor wedding?

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Well, my wedding is going to be inside.

13. Do birds pee?

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You never hear of people getting bird pee on them.

14. Do I even go back outside?

15. When will another bird strike again?

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