back to top
Community

11 Newsletters Your Co-Worker Will LOVE Being Signed Up For

My co-worker seemed like he needed a little bit of spice in his life, so I helped him the only way I know how: by signing him up for informative and intriguing email newsletters.

Posted on

I decided to start big.

Everyone knows about poultry, but do we REALLY know about poultry?
Via bopcha.com

Everyone knows about poultry, but do we REALLY know about poultry?

Poultry Pages was a tough act to follow.

I thought I'd throw in some religious garbage for flair. Too many to pick from, I went with my gut: Evangelism Weekly seemed a suitable choice.
Via crosswalk.com

I thought I'd throw in some religious garbage for flair. Too many to pick from, I went with my gut: Evangelism Weekly seemed a suitable choice.

Inspiration struck in the unlikeliest of places.

Immediately, my phone rang. It was my co-worker."Did you sign me up for a newsletter?""No.""'Thank you for signing up for Mewsletter.' This is definitely something you would do."I played it cool. I was in it for the long con.
Via mewsletter.com

Immediately, my phone rang. It was my co-worker.

"Did you sign me up for a newsletter?"

"No."

"'Thank you for signing up for Mewsletter.' This is definitely something you would do."

I played it cool. I was in it for the long con.

My co-worker started to wonder.

This was becoming bigger than all of us.

This was becoming bigger than all of us.

I needed a red herring.

As word spread 'round the humble office, I had to throw my co-worker off my trail. I then remembered that he's a dog person. Of course! He loves dogs. I should have known; we've bonded many times over our mutual love of dogs. I decided to make amends by signing him up for the West Suburban Dog newsletter.I had to branch out. I couldn't keep doing animals. My instinct was to find an Insane Clown Posse newsletter but no such newsletter exists, for some mysterious reason. I also, tragically, couldn't find a newsletter for freegans. I was scrambling.
Via westsuburbandog.com

As word spread 'round the humble office, I had to throw my co-worker off my trail.

I then remembered that he's a dog person. Of course! He loves dogs. I should have known; we've bonded many times over our mutual love of dogs. I decided to make amends by signing him up for the West Suburban Dog newsletter.

I had to branch out. I couldn't keep doing animals. My instinct was to find an Insane Clown Posse newsletter but no such newsletter exists, for some mysterious reason. I also, tragically, couldn't find a newsletter for freegans. I was scrambling.

Then I struck gold.

I felt dirty after visiting Rand Paul's site.

So I metaphorically cleansed myself. By signing my co-worker up for a luffa farm's newsletter, as I figured he'd want to scrub himself clean too.
Via theluffafarm.com

So I metaphorically cleansed myself. By signing my co-worker up for a luffa farm's newsletter, as I figured he'd want to scrub himself clean too.

I couldn't stop.

I was a woman possessed.

Not unlike the possessed women he will learn all about in the ghosthunting newsletter I signed him up for.
Via ghost-hunting.org

Not unlike the possessed women he will learn all about in the ghosthunting newsletter I signed him up for.

I was getting bored; disillusioned. How could I raise the stakes?

Not with pasta. I had to think outside the box.
Via pastaforall.info

Not with pasta.

I had to think outside the box.

I made my own newsletter.

I WANTED to tell him the truth.

But I couldn't. My ego held me back.

But I couldn't. My ego held me back.

And so we beat on.

Via wordpress.com

Boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. Or something.

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right
This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!