I decided to start big. Via bopcha.com Everyone knows about poultry, but do we REALLY know about poultry? Poultry Pages was a tough act to follow. Via crosswalk.com I thought I'd throw in some religious garbage for flair. Too many to pick from, I went with my gut: Evangelism Weekly seemed a suitable choice. Inspiration struck in the unlikeliest of places. Via mewsletter.com Immediately, my phone rang. It was my co-worker."Did you sign me up for a newsletter?""No.""'Thank you for signing up for Mewsletter.' This is definitely something you would do."I played it cool. I was in it for the long con. My co-worker started to wonder. This was becoming bigger than all of us. I needed a red herring. Via westsuburbandog.com As word spread 'round the humble office, I had to throw my co-worker off my trail. I then remembered that he's a dog person. Of course! He loves dogs. I should have known; we've bonded many times over our mutual love of dogs. I decided to make amends by signing him up for the West Suburban Dog newsletter.I had to branch out. I couldn't keep doing animals. My instinct was to find an Insane Clown Posse newsletter but no such newsletter exists, for some mysterious reason. I also, tragically, couldn't find a newsletter for freegans. I was scrambling. Then I struck gold. Via paul.senate.gov I felt dirty after visiting Rand Paul's site. Via theluffafarm.com So I metaphorically cleansed myself. By signing my co-worker up for a luffa farm's newsletter, as I figured he'd want to scrub himself clean too. I couldn't stop. Via flyfishinginsidernewsletter.com Via goatmilkstuff.com I was a woman possessed. Via ghost-hunting.org Not unlike the possessed women he will learn all about in the ghosthunting newsletter I signed him up for. I was getting bored; disillusioned. How could I raise the stakes? Via pastaforall.info Not with pasta. I had to think outside the box. I made my own newsletter. Via tinyletter.com Via tinyletter.com I WANTED to tell him the truth. But I couldn't. My ego held me back. And so we beat on. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via wordpress.com Boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. Or something.