10 Signs They Don't Love Big Brother

Big Brother Is Watching You...but are you watching him? Watching him tell lies, destroy lives and act ruthlessly, all in the name of power? Better yet, are you watching fellow Party Members, and even proles, for signs of shared rebellion? Don't know how to tell if you've found a REAL comrade? Watch out for these ten signs that they don't love BB either.

1. They Chant 'B! B!' Offbeat During the Two Minute Hate.

It may be subtle, but this shows a lack of commitment to the Two Minute Hate. Don't let them fool you with their volume and facial expression - the heart keeps time. If they don't love BB, their rhythm will show it. If you look closely...they probably aren't even saying 'B! B!'...

2. They Dislike the Canteen Food.

Those truly devoted to Big Brother adore all that he gives. Those who don't display blind reverence know that this isn't what food should be.

3. They Look Bored During Telescreen Announcements.

If you know it's all lies, why would you be entertained? If they aren't hanging on Big Brother's every word, you know they see right through him.

4. They Like the Proles.

If they frequent the proletarian areas and seem even remotely interested in the life of the proles, they can't love Big Brother. After all, BB says the proles are like animals...and what kind of submitting devotee would be interested in the lowest of the low?

5. They Speak to the Elderly.

Conversations with the elderly have only one purpose - historical knowledge. If they are always striking up conversation with those past their prime, they must be searching for the truth. Just like you.

6. They Avoid Community Nights.

If they have something better to do than spend time with their fellow comrades worshiping Big Brother, they must be on your side. A true BB lover would never escape a chance to express his admiration.

7. They Complain About Shortages.

Big Brother's biggest fans would never complain about what their saviour brings them. Not only that, but they trust in him to one day end the shortages. If they comment on a lack of supplies, you've found a doubter, which means you've found a friend.

8. They Use Antiques.

Ink pens, journals, antiques...who needs them? Big Brother certainly doesn't think we do. If they use objects from the past, they must be interested in the past... the ancient, Big-Brother-Free days.

9. They Look At Other People.

If you catch them sneaking a sidelong glance at anybody, their mind is not completely under Big Brother's control. Keep an eye out for those that appreciate a beautiful human being. Big Brother certainly doesn't.

10. They Ask Questions.

Big Brother supposedly gives us all the answers. If they have a question or two about something, they don't trust his platitudes. It's even better if they have questions about the big guy himself. They may not ask out loud, but you can see it in their eyes...uncertainty. One thing you can be certain about: they don't love Big Brother.

Find Your Friends.

Between Big Brother, the Spies and the telescreen, you're never truly alone in Oceania. But you aren't alone in your thought crime either. Not everyone loves Big Brother as much as he loves himself. Take these ten signs and wait for your real comrades to emerge.