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It's Christmas time, and we're all supposed to be on our best behavior.
But all you really want to do is:
Because holiday shopping is insane,
and you know you're not going to get anything good anyway.
You'd avoid it all by going to a bar, but Santa Crawls just fill them with loud, drunk assholes.
Inevitably someone at your office party will get out of control
(hopefully it isn't you)
which means more drawn-out meetings with HR.
Everyone's talking about how romantic the holidays and you're just over here like:
Your whole family is super stressed out,
but for some reason, you have to pretend you're having a good time.
Some people might say say you're a grouch.
To which you say:
In short:
and we're
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