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Six Reasons Going Home For Easter Was The Best

Now that the weekend's over, let’s not forget the real reasons why going home from college was the absolute best.

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1. Everyone talks about how stuck in high school they are


Remember that time you were on prom court? Or that time you were voted “most likely to visit every weekend after graduation”? That was absolutely amazing. You know what was better? Telling the people who were there for it instead of all your newfound “friends” in college that mostly consist of people on your floor. Digging through all the dust that has rightfully accumulated on your high school yearbook to search for the 1 page out of 588 you’re mentioned on was definitely worth the 50 snapchats you sent your story this weekend. You know who probably loved it the most? Your freshman roommate Nicole. She can't wait to be asking herself "oh yeah, who was that?" when she stumbles upon that screenshot four years down the line.

2. You got to wake up screaming in the middle of the night from stress induced anxiety without your roommate judging you.


We get it: homework can be incredibly detrimental to your mental health. You know who doesn’t get it? Nicole. Luckily, home was a safe place for you to let out all your verbal frustrations and PTSD from nights spent harassing strangers about what meat goes best with macaroni due to a high Adderall intake. When you wake up screaming your first Amendment rights gripping your sheets harder than a number 2 pencil, don’t worry, so do a million other students traumatized by the U.S. education system’s unrealistic expectations.

3. Showering in your old New Balance Sneakers instead of flip flops


Flip-flops are such a drag to wear in the shower. When do the puddles accumulate in your shoes? Where’s the satisfying feeling that some dad somewhere is also showering in his New Balance Sneakers? Flip flops are a thing of the past, and you don’t want to be a Lil Wayne in a world progressing towards Chance the Rapper.

4. Hiding your drinking problem from your two parents instead of your RA


Pesky RA bust you for drugs and alcohol again last week? Don’t let it get you down. The only people you disappointed this weekend were the two people who support you financially and emotionally. On the bright side, lesser stakes are tied to getting caught by your care givers than the girl down the hall who had your whole floor put together an ice cream social. They may take away your college tuition after finding out you vomited in the tub at grandma's, but your RA could take away Nicole’s friendship! You don’t want that to happen! Then you won’t be able to run into her six years down the line after you’ve both graduated and catch up for two minutes!

5. Your Tom Cruise body pillow was fully appreciated


“Hey, can I borrow that Tom Cruise body pillow you have? It’d really make my Katie Holmes Halloween costume.” NO.

“Oh my god my friend is home for the weekend and loves Tom Cruise you ABSOLUTELY need to let her see your pillow.” NO.

“I think it’d be really funny to our visitors if we put the Tom Cruise pillow on the futon.” NO, NO, NO! He is my Tom Cruise body pillow, there is no we in me. And if you think there is, you may be completely illiterate and should talk to your primary care physician before reading comprehension skills are prescribed to you.

6. Your room was much bigger and reminded you of how you combat your emptiness in this consumer driven society by surrounding yourself with unnecessary material possessions.

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