15 Chip Flavors That Remind Me Of Why My Wife Left Me

These chips remind me of my unfulfilling life and unending torment on this mortal coil. Plus they taste bad.

1. Beer & Brats

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We announced the divorce at a family BBQ, this was the first that I had heard of it.

2. Cappuccino

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She used to have 3 of these a day, something about working 14 hours a day at the hospital yada yada yada. She always used that excuse when I wanted to talk to her about genuine issues, like the internet being down so I couldn't upload the latest chapter of my Twilight x Thomas the Tank Engine fanfic.

3. Szechuan Chicken

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I once saw her yoga instructor at the gym eat Szechuan chicken.

4. Milk Chocolate

Me

This flavor is so awful I would rather get served again than eat them.

5. Crab Curry

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A crab once nipped my finger.

6. Cracker Barrel Sharp Cheddar

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The inter-dimensional tiny shop in the front of the Cracker Barrel was my only companion in the years after the divorce.

7. Crème Brulee Milk Tea

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When we married we agreed that we would never eat this chip flavor, a week before the divorce I found her stash of them.

8. Fried Crab

Me

I'm telling you its claws were sharp, man.

9. Grilled Eel

Me

She got the bends when we went scuba diving in the coral reef, that was a great trip.

10. Ketchup Fries

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Our marriage counselor was eating these when we went there, I walked out immediately.

11. Ketchup

Me

https://youtu.be/ZtjFsQBuJWw

12. Oolong Milk Tea

Me

Mighty battles were waged as to whom would walk away with the last good pen.

13. New York Reuben

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She moved to New York with her personal trainer.

14. Grilled Prawn and Seafood Sauce

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We used to be as close as a remarkably reasonably priced bag of "2 in 1" Grilled Prawn and Seafood Sauce Lay's Brand Chips, which can be found at any major Taiwanese grocery store near you.

15. Wasabi

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I looked up how to commit arson online and now I'm on a watchlist, still looking for info tho.