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We Need To Have A Serious Talk About Sweet Tamales

GIVE ME ALL THE TAMALES...except the sweet ones.

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So every year, around the holidays, everybody's moms and aunts are making some fresh batches of tamales that will last until at least mid-February. And for the most part, they're delicious.

They're awesome. They're bomb as fuck. If you haven't tried them, hit up your local tamale lady and get ready to stuff your face with a hundred of these.
itsnisey_ / Via instagram.com

They're awesome. They're bomb as fuck. If you haven't tried them, hit up your local tamale lady and get ready to stuff your face with a hundred of these.

However, we need to talk about the pink tamale in the room. Yes, I'm talking about these fake-ass, wannabe, sweet tamales otherwise known as tamales de dulce.

insearchoflily / Via instagram.com

For those who don't know, sweet tamales can be made in a variety of ways. But they're generally sweet and include fillings made out of raisins, pineapple, coconut, a variety of berries, nuts, and in some instances, chocolate.

I must emphasize, everybody's got their own way of making them. So don't @ me with your abuelita's recipe.
sexyangicita / Via instagram.com

I must emphasize, everybody's got their own way of making them. So don't @ me with your abuelita's recipe.

Now, don't get me wrong. At first, I thought I was the only one who didn't like them. So, I did a deep dive ~investigation~ and discovered that I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE!

People just don't like tamales de dulce.

And let's be real, whenever you picked out a pink-colored tamale, you'd discreetly try to put it back and pick a savory one without looking like an ungrateful child.

But come on, how are you gonna eat a tamal de dulce when you got tamales de puerco, de rajas, de queso, de salsa verde...I mean, ANYTHING BUT DULCE!

And if your tía forced you to eat one with her sweet "¡Mijo, pruebale!" plea, you'd take a bite of it, smile, and hope she looked away so you could chuck it in the trash.

Sorry tía. I still love your cooking. Swear. :(
Twitter: @iconicjb

Sorry tía. I still love your cooking. Swear. :(

And don't even get me started on those damn raisins because dammit...

...RAISINS...RUIN...EVERYTHING.

kakogch / Via instagram.com

Tamales de dulce are tamales going through an identity crisis. It's like having strawberry tacos topped off with raisins, or coconut chilaquiles, or chocolate rice.* There's something about it that's just...off.

(*Note to self: Make these next time you're high.)
Twitter: @widestance

(*Note to self: Make these next time you're high.)

But to be fair, it could very well be that I, along with 54.9k people, just haven't had the right tamal de dulce. So, I'm still waiting to have my mind changed.

stephgordon25 / Via instagram.com
  1. So, what do you think? Once and for all, do you like tamales de dulce, or nah?

    milleanarquista/ instagram.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    NOPE. Tamales need to stop trying to be a dessert.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    YES! I love tamales de dulce!
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So, what do you think? Once and for all, do you like tamales de dulce, or nah?
  1.  
    vote votes
    NOPE. Tamales need to stop trying to be a dessert.
  2.  
    vote votes
    YES! I love tamales de dulce!
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