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43 Things No Stoner Would Ever Say

"Ew... 7-Eleven pizza."

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1. No.

2. Oh, hey! A cop! Let's go say hello.

3. I ate a big lunch today so I think I might hold off on eating dinner.

4. Don't you just hate it when your mouth produces a lot of saliva?

5. I don't feel like watching a documentary about World War II.

6. Taco Bell is really bad for you.

7. Ummm... Teletubbies is for little kids.

8. I totally remember.

9. Finger painting? No, thank you. I'm not much of an artist.

10. No, thanks. I'm on a diet.

11. It's six o'clock in the morning. It's WAY too early to smoke.

12. It's 12:45 a.m. It's too late to smoke.

13. Do you know how many calories are in a single bag of Doritos?

14. I'm too high to have sex.

15. No. I didn't smoke before meeting your parents.

16. Ew... 7-Eleven pizza.

17. America's War on Drugs has been totally successful.

18. I'm sure that man over there is looking at us because we remind him of someone. NBD.

19. I hate Cheech and Chong movies. They're so stupid.

20. Piss in a cup? YOU BETCHA!

21. I feel like eating a nice, fresh, healthy salad.

22. My stomach hurts.

23. I don't know how to play Mario Kart.

24. I'm just gonna stop by CVS for... three minutes.

25. I get it.

26. That's a terrible idea and you shouldn't do it.

27. I hate you.

28. I feel like going out for a jog.

29. I feel full.

30. I'm sad.

31. Sorry... I only vape.

32. I can't... I have work tomorrow.

33. I can't... I have class in five minutes.

34. I can't... I have kids now.

35. Why?

36. Colorado? Who the fuck would want to go to Colorado?

37. We should totally smoke a blunt while driving through Arizona.

38. I would NEVER want to smoke with my mom.

39. Is it me or is this show, like, really boring?

40. There are absolutely NO BENEFITS to smoking weed.

41. I learned a lot from D.A.R.E.

42. What time is it?

43. Marijuana.