2. Trying to take PERFECT family photos is damn near impossible.
5. The kitchen was impossible to navigate because all the tias were using it to cook their last minute dishes.
iMijo! I just need your oven for the next two hours.
7. All your tias telling you that you look fat, yet they’ll keep serving you more food because they care about you.
8. And when you actually lose weight, your entire family will think you’re sick.
Tia: Mijo, you’re not eating. What’s wrong?
9. That uncle who offers you a beer every time you see him.
Tio: iMijo! ¿Una chela?
Me: No, tio. I already have one.
Tio: Have another.
10. When you hear a knock on the door and the first thing you do is hide because it’s probably your uncle’s entire family “passing by.”
Tio: “We were on our way back from church and we saw your light on.”
12. You will never be alone at a party. Ever. Doesn’t matter how hard you try, solitude is not an option.
13. That awkward moment when your mom passes the phone to you and tells you to talk to your aunt in Mexico who you’ve never met.
16. When your younger cousins don’t give two shits about family traditions.
Tia: Are you guys going to pray?
Cousins: What is “pray”?
17. That awkward moment when your non-English speaking tio joins in on a conversation you’re having with your non-Spanish speaking cousin.
Should I switch the conversation to Spanish even though my cousin can’t speak it or keep talking in English even though my tio can’t speak it? Life is hard.
19. That awkward moment when you and your uncle – who you only speak to in group settings – are waiting for the bathroom.
“So… uh… How’s the family?”
21. That one uncle who REALLY wants everyone to know he’s doing well for himself.
22. The nerve-wracking experience of introducing your white S.O. to your entire family.
Tia: Is she Catholic?
Me: No, she’s atheist.
25. The older aunts and uncles who remind you of how easy you have it.
“Back in my day, your granddad had his own way of showing us affection.”