1. When your audition is scheduled at 1 p.m. but you don't get seen for another two hours.
2. When you wake up at 2 a.m. to get in line for a 6:00 a.m. open call AND YOU DON'T EVEN GET SEEN.
3. When you finally get seen and they spring this bullshit on you: "So... there's a performing fee."
4. When you go to an audition and the only parking available costs $10, but you desperately need it.
5. When you spend hours looking for the perfect monologue.
6. When you're practicing your monologue/scene on public transportation on the way to your audition, and everyone looks at you like O_o...
7. ...Then you walk into the audition room and totally space out on the monologue you were going to do.
8. And then you PAINFULLY ask, "I'm sorry. Can I start over?"
9. When you're going to sing a song, and the accompanist doesn't play at the tempo written on the sheet music.
10. When you work on a scene that was given to you three days ago, and you walk into the audition room, and they give you a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SCENE at the very last minute.
11. When after performing the monologue of your life, and absolutely killing it, the people behind the desk just say, "...Thanks."
12. And it's even worse when they stop you in the middle of your 16-bar song that you've been working on for days.
13. When you just want to strangle that one person who's practicing their song in front of everybody while you're waiting to go in.
14. When you're asked to read a scene with someone, and that person is as flat as a dead fish.
15. When you're scheduled for a callback with one day notice.
Casting: "We'd like to see you again!"
Me: "YAY!"
Casting: "Tomorrow at 7:30 a.m."
Me: "Uhhh..."
Casting: "Come in with the assigned two-page monologue memorized."
My mind: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!"
16. When you have to call out of work because of your callback.
17. When the opening number of Chorus Line just gets you on a very deep level...and your non-theater friends don't understand why.
18. That awful feeling you have when you totally bombed the audition.
19. But if you keep trying and don't quit, you'll end up getting the part. And it makes the whole damn process worth it.
So keep doing your thing and break a leg!
