Spring Break As Told By "The Office"

"Michael stands in front of the boat and says he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck."

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Ah yes....Spring Break is here. Midterms are over, all work is done, and you and your closest friends are embarking on a week for the record books. With a wallet full of cash and a somewhat healthy liver, you're hoping your $1,000 cruise is actually worth the investment or it's just another ride from hell.

In the Beginning...

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Alcohol. Lots of it. Stop lying to yourself, why else are you going on a Spring Break trip? Put that drink package and your liver to work. You might as well get your money's worth and enjoy the week you have before going back to the life of 8 AM classes and post-grad job applications.

Night One

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You do it right. You go out, burn a hole in your wallet, drink until the sun comes up and then stumble back into your room for some well deserved Zzzzz's.

The Hangover

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Side effects include (but are not limited to): headaches, nausea, and strong feelings of regret. Pop some Motrin and chug a Gatorade because it's going to be a long day.

The Moment You Look At Last Night's Bill..

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"'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' -Wayne Gretzky' -Michael Scott"

Clearly you didn't miss any last night. Now your liver and wallet are struggling. Way to go guys....way to go.

Embarrassment

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What happens on Spring Break sometimes doesn't stay at Spring Break. You want to believe it, but after scrolling through everyone's story from last night, you slowly move into the fetal position and whimper for the next several hours. Damn you, Snapchat.

Followed by Regret

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Feeling like death with a sense of absolute embarrassment aren't making anything easier. You sit there and think, "This can't get much worse, right?"

In the words of Michael Scott, "No. God. Please. No."

"What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I'm gonnaaa... stay up all day. I'm gonna sleep up all night. I'm gonna give it a hooo! Heyyy! Hooo! And I'm gonna stop worrying about calories."

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Your friends snap you out of your delusional and pitiful state and put you back together. It's only been the first night and you're losing it already? The Motrin kicks in, the Gatorade is finished, and you find yourself ready to take it on all over again.

Repeat

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Enjoy your Spring Break!