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22 Struggles That Are Too Real For Sopranos

Un bel dì they'll finally respect me.

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1. When people assume that you're a bad musician just because you're a soprano.

How do you know when a soprano's at your door...? #sopranoproblems #thisgivesoperaabadrep

Bitch, I'd love to hear how in tune your high E is. Oh, you don't have one? K.

2. When you literally have to write an encouragement next to your scary high notes.

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Thank god it's on an "ah" vowel.

3. When people tell you to use less vibrato.

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Sure, lemme just straight tone that G. Feels great in the passaggio.

4. When you've amassed so many diva recital dresses you literally can't choose.

Full set rehearsed for tomorrow at @WythenshaweHall nine songs!Now here's the dilemma which dress?? #sopranoproblems

Which one says "I'm a better singer than you" but also makes you seem approachable?

5. When you're still working on your coloratura and you run into a cadenza like this.

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Can't you just pop out a high C and be done with it?

6. When people outside the practice room judge your super high warmups.

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It's called a whistle tone. GET ONE.

7. When the only way you can comfortably hit notes below the staff is when you're sick.

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Hmmm, so this is what it feels like to be bass.

8. But you'll try literally any remedy to get your gorgeous top notes back.

They might as well give you a tea IV at this point.

9. When you have to deal with all the dumb "breaking glass with your voice" jokes.

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Though it's possible, it's not likely.

10. When you can't do your vocalises in the same room as your pets because it scares them.

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Come back, Fluffy! This is by Rachmaninoff! That means it's really good!

11. When you don't have the melody for once and it REALLY throws you off.

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But you're humble enough to step aside and throw the altos a bone.

12. When composers think you can pull high notes out of your ass at any given time just because you can hit them.

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Sure, let's just switch registers whenever, Purcell!

13. And then they just expect you to hang out on high C's for a few measures.

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None of this is happening before 8 a.m., either.

14. When you know you'll never be as adorable as a boy soprano.

Libera Official / youtube.com

You know what's not adorable? How he over articulates with his lips!

15. When people assume you look like this...

Thinkstock

16. ... but you actually have to live up to standards like this.

Every soprano has probably uttered the phrase "Fuck Anna Netrebko" at some point.
Jo Hale / Getty Images

Every soprano has probably uttered the phrase "Fuck Anna Netrebko" at some point.

17. When you have to do a pianissimo above the the staff because no one can project over you.

Maybe they wouldn't be ~smothered~ if they learned to support their sound!

18. When you have to get a little liquored up for your top to sound its best.

The key to a great high F is support, courage, and a screwdriver.

19. When all your roles are so dramatic you start to feel emotionally overwhelmed by your fictional life.

It's a good day if your character's still alive at the end of the production.

20. When people get mad at you for complaining about not getting to play Carmen.

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So what if we get all the other good roles? We're gonna sing the habanera anyways.

21. When people make fun of the weird face you make on your high notes.

Hey, at least the sound is pretty.

22. When you have to deal with everyone's jealousy because you are the most FABULOUS voice type.

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