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This post may or may not be based on actual science.
Bless your cousin for giving you $50 to play "The Prayer" at her wedding, or there would be nothing in that second column.
Pro tip: wear flowy clothes to rehearsal to easily hide your flask.
"Recitals that don't have reception food" also includes recitals that only offer crackers and cheese. STEP IT UP, PEOPLE.
If you happen to meet someone who does both of these things, please don't hesitate to exterminate them.
This chart could also represent your desire to disappear off the face of the earth.
Great, in addition to your lessons, coachings, and recitals, you have to sound good in your warm-ups, too?! Fuck that.
Note: There is much overlap between "sleep" and "fearing child prodigies." Jackie Evancho haunts your dreams.
The best thing about doing a recital is the glorious brain dump you get to take afterwards.
Should you encounter one of these people in the wild, MARRY THEM. IMMEDIATELY.
Bugs Bunny is definitely one of my top five Brünnhildes.
And it's a good thing, too, because money and fame DEFINITELY aren't happening anytime soon.