back to top

Breaking News: Ariana Grande Is Made Of Tiny Dolls

The pop star has been in the public eye more than ever in the past week for licking donuts (something we've all done, right? right?) and pronouncing her hatred of America, but the origin of what she's genetically made up of has remained a mystery. A new scientific journal has just released that in early 2015, Grande underwent a series of tests and it is confirmed she is made up of tiny dolls

Posted on

Grande is still undergoing extensive tests to determine exactly what kind of dolls make up her genetics.

"This is truly a phenomenon," Dr. Lennox Bicycle told us via email correspondence. He's currently the lead scientist in charge of the "Grande Project: A Tiny Doll Woman or Regular Woman?" He plans to publish a book of his findings as soon as his experiments are complete.

"We've never seen anything like this," Dr. Bicycle continues. "When Grande first came into the limelight with her role on 'Victorious', I had my suspicions, I can promise you that. But it wasn't until we ran her blood and it came back that she in fact doesn't have blood but tiny dolls that I really believed something miraculous was happening here."

In our email exchange, I asked Dr. Bicycle what this could mean for Grande's career. After all, she's set to star in Ryan Murphy's upcoming television show, "Scream Queens" on top of her burgeoning music career.

"Who cares?!" Dr. Bicycle wrote back. "She's made of tiny dolls!"

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!