10 CD-R King Gizmos To Help You Win At Life

It's more fun in the Philippines!

Via cdrking.com

Proving it's more than just a place to pick up flash drives, card readers and optical media, CD-R King, that ubiquitous, ridiculously affordable mecca of all things digital for the penny-pinching Filipino, is also a veritable funhouse of computer peripherals and accessories.

(If they had a kitchen sink you could connect to your computer via USB, they would probably be selling it too. But, baby steps. And yes, those are electric scooters. They now have electric scooters.)

1. USB Aquarium

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Because fish are friends, not food, and the first thing you think of to connect to your computer is an aquarium. This little thingamajig turns itself on when your laptop turns on, and doesn't need a switch. Plug it into your unsuspecting USB port. Plug it in, now.

Note: Does not come with actual fish. There's only so much your computer can do.

2. USB Mini Vacuum

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Manually brushing your keyboard off is menial. Harness the power of your USB port and clean up like a boss!

3. Electronic Cigarette Lighter with LED Flashlight

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If you can't light up with one end, light up with the other. Butane is evil.

4. USB Fan

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One must always look like a Cosmo cover girl when on Skype/Facetime.

5. USB Warmer

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Keep your drink hot as you lose two hours of your life in the black hole that is the internet, mesmerized by cats, dogs and "Charlie bit my finger!". You know you want one of these. You know you do.

6. Mini-Cooler

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Can't be bothered to drag your lazy fat butt out of your chair to visit the fridge? Feast your eyes on "the only way to keep your drink cold while you're at your computer." Welcome to the future.

7. Kalina USB/SD Mini Speaker System with LED Light

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What happens when a Speak and Spell, a flashlight and a portable cassette recorder have a baby together? This happens.

Bonus: It comes with a slot for a micro SD card. Because you need music to get through power outages, your smartphone has died and the stuff on the built-in radio just won't do. Use your computer to charge it through its USB port!

8. Monkey Card Reader

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Cuteness is king. Who needs cables? Stick your microSD card in the slot, plug it into your computer and voila. Instant flash drive. Added plus: it's small enough to carry on your key ring!

9. Microphone Shaped Mini-Speaker

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Having sound come out of a microphone instead of going into it? Gimme!

10. Mini Discs

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Before they turned into the overlord of the affordable digital universe, CD-R King's original claim to fame was having a bunch of colourful blank discs in all sorts of shapes and sizes. A disc in the shape of a sun? Check!

Burning information on a disc shows you took time to care. It also shows you live in the early aughts, because no one really shares files like this anymore unless they're intentionally being ironic. Flash Drive? Cloud storage? What's that?