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How To Talk About Cinco De Mayo Without Sounding Like A Gringo

No, it isn't Mexican Independence Day.

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Let’s start from the beginning. You see, back in the 1860s, Mexico was kind of in a tough spot.

José Escudero y Espronceda, Public Domain / Via

Benito Juarez, the country's first indigenous president, had just managed to suppress a rebellion that tried to usher in a monarchy instead of a republic.


As if having America as a neighbor wasn't bad enough for Mexico already.


Unlike America, France didn't think it had God's permission to invade because of manifest destiny. But the French had reason and the Enlightenment, which are just as good. SMH.


The battle raged for a whole day.

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Here's a scene from a really terrible movie about the battle that came out in 2013, to give you an idea of how horrible it was.


The hapless fellow only lasted for three years.

Edouard Manet, Public Domain / Via

And then Juarez killed him. Lesson learned: Don't mess with a dude called Benito, or you'll end up in a painting by Manet showing your hella close-range execution.