1. 1. The words Squinny, Dinny or Dinlo
You hear it in a public space… you must find out who said it and talk about how those words are from Portsmouth origin. Everyone else will be asking what squinny means and you reply “it’s when you’re being a squinny”
2. 2. When people say that they’ve been to Portsmouth and they think it’s nice
You know they’ve only been to gunwharf quays. You keep quiet whilst picturing them wandering lost in the depths of paulsgrove.
3. 3. You mention that you’re from Portsmouth and someone says they went to Portsmouth University
Flashbacks begin immediately and the only way you can picture them is on a binge drinking pub crawl down guildhall walk, ending up in fuzzy duck.
OR you instantly dislike them because you used to live next to a student house.
4. 4. Your Portsmouth friends think you live really far away
So you moved to London? It’s actually only around 50 minutes drive away but your friends always say “All the way in London” or “have you got to go all the way back now” like it’s a million miles away.
5. 5. When you go back home for a night out and a round of drinks is under £5
You start arguing with the bar man insisting you are being undercharged and start trying to give him more money. This only lasts for the first round and then you embrace it and get horrendously drunk. Ending up in Fuzzy Duck.
6. 6. You go on holiday and meet someone from Portsmouth
It’s inevitable and guaranteed on every holiday. You will all drink far too much and then spend the rest of the holiday doing day trips and evenings out together vowing to stay in touch when you return.
7. 7. Driving in Portsmouth Vs Driving in London
London is fast paced and the locals can spot an outsider from miles away (Making it easier to avoid them at all costs usually finding a way to get in front of them)
Portsmouth is like everyone doesn’t actually want to get to their destination, instead they just wish to drive under 20mph and stop suddenly for no reason.
As soon as you get on that A3 back to London you feel safe from them again.
8. 8. You forget to check if there’s a football match on
You go to Portsmouth for the day to visit family but you’ve forgotten to check if there’s football on.
9. 9. You forget the joy of local news
You decide to pick up The News whilst in Portsmouth. Front page headline reads “Man eats underwear to beat breathalyser”
You can’t even cope.
10. 10. Walking through Commercial Road
You will see at least 2 family members and probably most of the people you went to school with just by walking through town on a saturday. Who needs a reunion when you can just head to Cacades!
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