Five years ago, I packed up my life in London and headed Down Under to start a new one in Sydney. And as you can probably imagine, when you first arrive, there's a lot that you need to get used to.
There are the obvious things: The accent, the Aussie tendency to put an "o" at the end of every word, and, of course, the sun.
But there's one Aussie thing that, five years later, I still can't quite get my head around — and it's something I, hand-on-my-heart, never thought I'd be writing about: urinals.
Hear me out. Over my 30-something years on this planet, I've peed in my fair share of differently-designed urinals. Some of them are pretty bog (pun intended) standard: they're standalone, they don't have much privacy, and there's usually some kind of banal poster in a shitty frame above them.
Who is the uk's leading urinal panel media king? I want words with you!
Then, there are the urinals for the more private of gents: urinals with lockable doors, where you can do your thing in peace, and without the awkward urinal etiquette that comes from being in a more public pissing environment.
The FIRST private urinal I have frequented in the UK. 😁🇯🇵👌 #SticksnSushi #Wimbledon
Then, there's the luxury class of urinal. It's one that I am not too familiar with, where the urinal might be scented with a particularly luxurious smell; or heck, it might even have a TV built into it (because we can't have those luxurious pissers getting bored for even a minute, can we?).
Imagine a TV on the Urinal 😂😂 #UK
It's safe to say that there's no "one size fits all" when it comes to urinals. Like us humans, they come in all shapes and sizes and, again, just like us, we applaud that.
Went to a pub on the weekend. This is what is above the single urinal. Just pictures of urinals in the UK. Some with dudes actively pissing in them. Wild
Most of the time, we wouldn't even spare a thought for urinals. They simply exist, serving their purpose, and we all go about our business willy-nilly.
Now, I've been toilet-trained for quite some time. And even though I, personally, am quite partial to "the sit-down wee" — don't come at me, it's just nice to rest the legs sometimes — after five years of living in Australia, there's a certain design feature on Aussie urinals that I still don't understand: that weird cage-like grid bit.
@PaladinAmber To be fair, the men's room in Australia is trippy af you have to step into a urinal (on that caged part) and piss!?! just splashing piss all over your shoes?!
Any Aussie guy will absolutely know what I'm talking about. But gents, myself and every non-Aussie person using a male bathroom need your help.
In a post, one Reddit user wrote, "Guy from UK here. I've been in Australia for about two weeks and have noticed these grids on the urinals in every restroom. Do I stand on them or piss on them I'm confused?"
And I have to agree with him.
Are the grids there for standing on? Are the grids there for pissing into? Are the grids a design feature? Or are the grids simply there for no reason at all?
We need to be prepared, after all. These grids have a tendency to sneak up on you when you're least expecting them to.
always an awkward feeling sharing the same #urinal #australia #mensrestroom
Perhaps you're out for dinner and you think that you've got time to nip to the bathroom before your dessert arrives, so you rush off hurriedly and then BOOM, there's the grid.
Perhaps you've been waiting in a queue at ServiceNSW for three hours, and when the need to pee hits you, you find your way to the bathroom and BOOM, there's the grid again.
Something we can learn in conservation from Australia. One big urinal not individual ones. Saves a lot of water.
Seriously, this is a real public service discussion. After all my time living in Australia, I still don't know the correct etiquette for this grid — and apparently, I'm not the only one.
Gents, I don't want to pee on your shoes. But unless this is resolved, I just might. So please, let's settle this once and for all.