1. Last night at the Royal Rumble, The Rock beat CM Punk in a controversial decision to win the WWE Championship.
CM Punk actually pinned The Rock and won the match, but evil genius Vince McMahon strutted out and, after some conversation, ordered the match to restart. The Rock then hit the People’s Elbow and won, ending Punk’s 400-plus day reign as champion. The result angered more than a few fans, including our friend Michael.
2. The scene begins with our protagonist, Michael, watching the Rumble in his living room.
1-2-3, Rock wins.
3. *Throws replica championship belt in disgust*
15. Here’s the entire freak-out, in video form. Only 69 days until WrestleMania!
To be fair, there’s a lot of wrestling fans that feel exactly the way Michael does. The Rock, as a full-time actor and part-time wrestler (or is that redundant?), was probably only given the championship as a PR move so more people watch Raw and buy WrestleMania. But still, you shouldn’t go around throwing replica belts willy nilly.
- Six people died and more than 60 were injured in a spree of gun violence in Chicago over Memorial Day weekend.
- After announcing he had raised $5.6 million for veterans organizations, Donald Trump blasted reporters for asking critical questions about the money.
- The show "The Biggest Loser" is under investigation following a report that its contestants were given drugs to aid weight loss.