1. You were eating tofu, kale, and quinoa years before it was cool.
2. Meanwhile, baked apples were a genuine treat.
3. You ate Beanfeast while camping.
4. And at home you mostly ate Pear & Apple Spread.
5. Or Natex, a Marmite replacement.
6. You called your parents by their first names.
7. And in return, they filled your family albums with naked pictures.
8. Because your parents weren't really into privacy, your bathroom door didn't have a lock on it.
9. And you got taken out for a celebratory meal when you started your period.
10. Your parents shouted at you when you started shaving your legs.
11. And insisted on leaving hand-painted signs above the downstairs loo.
12. But, on the plus side, you could have boys to stay the night whenever you wanted.
13. And you were allowed to dress yourself for school.
14. There were always lots of "uncles" at your house.
15. And your parents’ exes would often come on holiday with you.
16. Talking of partners, your mum checked your astrological chart every time you got a new boyfriend.
17. You learned 5Rhythms instead of ballet.
18. You had no idea that lentils, rice, muesli, or chickpeas came in packets smaller than a pillowcase.
19. And your fridge door was always full of tartex, miso, bean curd, and soya milk.
20. You had to suffer the indignity of Sosmix on a fairly regular basis.
21. And the house was always littered with enormous plastic tubs of crunchy wholefood peanut butter.
22. It never occurred to you to shave your armpits.
23. Although you did henna your hair.
24. You thought all music festivals featured Venezuelan joropo bands and compost toilets.
25. But you could make your own musical instruments.
26. And you were bought up to recycle everything.
27. And when you left home...
